I'm On My Way

After last course weekend a lot of things have changed, and I'm truly on my way. To you it might not be obvious where the change is, cause I've been talking about this before, many times - getting the 40 client appointments and becoming a healer/therapist. But I must admit I didn't really believe it myself, wasn't at all convinced. Still needed that confirmation that I "had it in me". But I do. It's as simple as that. That also means I have to work like hell in order to meet the requirements before May.

The way I'm choosing here really is the highway, and nothing for pussies. A voyage with a one way ticket, 'cause there's no end destination. The goal is to be a little bit more myself everyday, but the day I feel I can't evolve anymore I've lost.

I'm also on my way for a few days of heaven in another direction, and I'm counting days. A weekend filled with bliss, nice food and drink, and the best of company at my favorite retreat will do me good. I so deserve it.

Apologies

I looked through previous post and saw that something very important was missing, and what was left gave the impression that I was accusing everybody of lying to me. Or it could look like that. On the other hand, only those with a not so clear conscious would have felt guilty, right? Anyhow, the point wasn't to vent my spleen over some innocent remarks, but I actually had a memorable encounter recently, with someone whom I after while suspected to be a pathological liar. Interesting evening indeed, and at the beginning he seemed to be quite normal. Charming and courteous. And the stories he told I had no reason to doubt. Later though he seemed to be more out of control, his speech almost shifted, and the stories lacked logic. I just played along, it was quite funny. And very educational; one more character to cross of my list. Next time I'll recognize the type...

Tall Tales & Lies

I wonder - how tall can a tale get before it tumbles? Probably depends on the ground it's standing on.

Recently I've had some encounters and experiences which had me thinking about the concept of lying. What is a lie to start with? You could say it's something untrue. I think most people have a feeling that lies are deliberate, and that the liar has an absolute intent of deceiving for some reason. But the motifs for telling a lie are not always clear, not even to the liar, and sometimes he (or she) might not be aware of the falsity at all. Or he might know it's not true but only a story, and that the "recipient" share that belief. Here the lie appears when there's a discrepancy between intended meaning and the perception of it .

We've all heard about white lies, the ones we tell to spare someone from getting hurt. And from an objective point they seem justifiable as well. But personally I think one should be just as careful with them, 'cause at least I need to relate to facts and truth in order to progress. It might feel bad at the time but so much better in the long run.

My brother had a boss once (also the founder of the company) who was a compulsive liar, or a mythomaniac. This man seemed to be so absorbed by his own stories, that he just couldn't see how preposterous they were. Places he'd been and things he'd done, all so fantastic that it was obvious to everyone (except himself) that he was lying. The thing is; when you meet someone like that, you also know that not everything is a lie, but how to separate them from the truths? When small kids tell these exaggerated stories (and they do!) it can be kinda cute, but they will most of the time learn to limit their imaginations. If not they grow up to be like Baron von Münchhausen, who flew to the Moon and pulled himself out of a swamp by his own hair...

I see now I've been told quite a few lies, only because I wanted to believe; and that's make me the guilty one, not the liars. These are small innocent lies, probably said with best intentions, but I still feel my intelligence is insulted somehow. Don't do that, please.

Singing Out

My daughter will probably be immensely annoyed if she finds out what I'm going to write now, but I'm pretty confident she won't. She doesn't read my blog, and I definitely don't visit her on Facebook, or any other spaces she might have. But it's not like I'm telling a secret, the whole country will know soon anyway. She just don't want me to make a fuzz about it. But how could I not?

A couple of years ago this Swedish singer Caroline af Ugglas came up with an idea of famous singers/musicians forming choirs, consisting of 20 people from their hometown, which then should compete on TV. Each week one choir is sent home. In Sweden they have run 2 seasons, and in the USA, NBC adapted this idea into Clash of the Choirs. Now the time has come for Norway to try out the format. And by now you've probably guessed the rest as well? Yes, my youngest ("the monster"), is picked out to be one of the choir members...

This was not the post I wanted to write. I have so much to say, and so little idea of how to do it! Where did my skills go? Disguising the plot as something everyday and trivial, making it more digestible. But maybe that is the thing? Maybe I should sing out too? I asked for plain words myself, didn't I? I could always experiment with my writing somewhere else; on the other hand it's here (so far anyway), that I find the inspiration to play with the words like this. Give me a blank paper, and my brain goes blank too.

Another thing I've been doing, is working on my web-site for my "healing activities". A site where I tell you about what I do, a little about the "tools", and how you can contact me if you would like to be one of my 40 cases I need for graduating the course. (To you, commander - I checked and you are approved! Well, actually it's up to me how I regard it... I have to approve of you.) When the site is ready all you have to do is ask for the address - I won't be posting a link here.

Glorious Moments

Finally I got the incentive I needed to unpack those last boxes left from the move, and get the apartment in shape. Still have pictures to hang (although I won't be doing all due to the stupid regulations here...), and some curtains to sew for the living room. Funny how the prospect of receiving guests can wake you up from hibernation! And even if the travel plans won't work, my flat will at least be more like a home.

Today I've been swirling around like the Minuano finishing various tasks, like would you believe it - carry away two large bags full of autumn leaves! It was so strange; when I came back from Sweden last month I noticed that my entrance was piled up with dry brown leaves, and also that mine was the only one. All of the neighbors' looked clear to me, but I figured it had something to with winds and location. For a second though I suspected someone to have played a trick on me... I've been walking in and out of this for weeks now, but today I cleaned it up. Looks so much better. And I also went back to the old flat and picked up my bike, the garden table and some odd things that I left behind.

Then the two oldest came over with Chinese Take-Away. Nice treat for a mother's day I think. And my daughter had made this beautiful bouquet with white, pink and red roses which she gave to me on behalf of all three, along with a card saying "World's Best Mum". Today I actually feel quite alright; even important, as someone just told me I am.