Total Recall

I believe I've made some progress in my life, and sometimes I'm lucky enough to get reminders of just how much. This latest one got me thinking of episodes from my teenage years.

I was sixteen and in love. As always, I might add. I realize now that I can't remember a time actually, not being in love, or looking for it in some way. Well, at sixteen it's probably more hormones than love, but the emotions are quite confusing. My self-esteem wasn't exactly high in those years, and I honestly couldn't believe anyone would miss me if I left them. So accordingly, I did. Although I could easily do some retrospective analyses of the whys and such, I'll pass for now, but I do remember one of the most embarrassing episodes. Embarrassing 'cause I quickly learned that my behavior did cause some pain, and it has stuck with me since.

It started on a Swedish summer night, at an open-air dance pavilion. Lots and lots of happy (drunken) people out in the woods, and a band playing cover versions of all the current hits. It was a very local happening, up where my cousin lived. In fact it was her turf I was roaming, and thinking of it, that might be even more of a faux pas, hitting on a boy she'd been into for a long time. My excuse though for that, and everything else that happened, was my young age. Teenagers are morons, let's face it. So, I did what I could and we had a fabulous time together for a while. To this day, nearly 30 years later, I can't point out anything specifically wrong, but I might remember some of the (unconscious) feelings. Too serious? No "new-thrill excitement"? Too predictable? Restrictions and limitations of what might be with other boys? So I broke up. But did I muster up the courage to do it face to face, or at least on the phone? No, of course I didn't. I wrote him a letter! Or more of a note as I recall it now. Short and brutal, I'm sure. Coward, that what I was. But only sixteen, and I've learned since.

Then you'd think someone with even 40 more years of life experience would do a better job, right? Remember that episode of Sex and the city where Berger broke up on a Post-It note? The lowest of low, according to most people. I googled "Post-It breakup" and found a lot of different entries discussing the theme. Like the ten worst ways of breaking up with someone, and why it's not acceptable. And there's no excuse in telling there wasn't a serious relationship to begin with, 'cause why the urge to end something if it didn't start at all?

Carrie says it well, I reckon:



Post-It, Facebook, text message, same difference...