Heat Source
Came home from Sweden yesterday morning, and was a little anxious about what was going to meet me. Last time I went away and left my 16-year old for 3 weeks, the flat looked bombed when I got back. Now I'd been away for twice as long and dreaded the worst. But deep down I knew it would be different, and I was right. She'd done a fantastic job, and I was so happy to see her again. But although the flat was tidy and clean, it was ice cold...
I've got a friend who's a true savior; whenever I'm in some kind of need he'll be on my doorstep faster than you can say emergency call. Yesterday was no exception and in the afternoon he came over with the trunk of his car loaded with wood for my oven. So thanks to him I'm nice and warm again. And when there's no wood I can always drink gin. Which I did last evening anyway, just 'cause I felt like it. If you then add the sizzling chat later last night, it sums up to "triple hot".
Tonight there's a fire again, but no gin, nor any nightly conversations. Just me and the burning flames.
8 comments:
The burning flames can be wonderful all on their own, especially if things are never meant to be more than momentary indulgences. :)
I'm currently in the 'dancing around each other' phase. This seems destined to happen, although the rational side of my brain is constantly telling me; no, never, a VERY bad idea no matter how you look at it.... I'm still hoping common sense will win out; but in the mean time the fleeting gentle touches are keeping the flames burning brightly.
Why so rational? Why just not go with it, and see what comes out of it? I'm sure it can't be that bad... ;)
I've ventured down this road before, and although I was able to justify the relationship at the time, it ended up hurting so many people (he was separated at the time, but with me in the middle they didn't have a chance of making it work). Yes, this one could be THAT bad. I know what would come out of it, and from what I've felt/experienced so far, it could be wonderful - however in this particular case the consequences could be quite devastating, on both a professional and personal level. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your current point of view) he reaches me on a level no man has ever come close to before, which makes him all that more enticing, certainly has kept me coming back for more....
BTW; I finally looked up a recipe for Lemon Curd, sounds very YUMMY! I will have to give it a try. :)
I see what you mean, and of course one shouldn't take things like these too casually. This is what goes with being a considerate and compassionate human being. We both know there are far too many people out there who only take care of themselves and their own needs. ;)
But it sure is hard to stay away from something like that, and I felt kinda struck by your words "he reaches me on a level no man has ever come close to before". And when you feel like that you're convinced there's no chance in hell you could ever feel it again, if not with him... true agony...
Yes, there is a part of me that feels it can only happen with him, and the other part is surprised that I'm actually feeling anything! I've been shut down and closed off for so long to have all this hitting me is overwhelming. I've also always been quick to 'jump to the next level' shall we say - that to just get to know someone first - is an extraordinary experience...should have thought of this years ago!!! ;) I'll continue to keep myself in check; I remember thinking to myself a couple of years ago "we're going to collide one of these days", which really struck me as odd at the time since there hadn't been and wasn't any indication of what was to come. But here we are, and once again, my intuition was right....go figure!
Funny how we so often wish we had that certain knowledge, last time around. But it just doesn't work that way, does it? I guess we simply need that friction in order learn something at all. It's a lot easier to truly see what's right if we've experienced the opposite as well.
I agree completely! Maybe it's just a wake-up call for me, get my energy moving again - just in time for the 'right' person to come along. Life has a way of working out in the end! :)
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