I did do it, I rearranged my furniture. Not a huge accomplishment, but I think this might work a little better. For a month or a year, we'll see. Haven't finished it all, still some smaller things to put in place, but the overall impression so far is OK. But doing something "meaningless" like this might not be so stupid after all. New perspective, new ideas. Not so bad. :)
So now I've got this erratic idea that rearranging my furniture might be a beneficial thing to do. Like that would change anything really?
I'm walking in circles, looking for signs (or anything), that'll tell me where I should go from here. Stay put? Out of the city - closer to the ocean, and my dear Cindy? North? East? South? They say home is where your heart is, but my heart is a little scattered so that won't work. Maybe I'll have to figure out where the largest piece is first?
I like the flat itself, but somehow it doesn't feel that right. It's been so many things now that I'm really getting tired of it all. First the water leakage, then the power failure. Which probably was connected to the first issue, but still annoying. Now the other day the neighbor came down and wondered if he could have a look upstairs in my office, which is directly above his kitchen. They had water running down their walls, and he suspected it might be coming from my pipes. It didn't, but it added to my frustration anyhow. It's an old building, and when things starting to happen it usually escalates pretty quickly.
Then we have the paper thin walls. They're not thin actually, they're thick concrete walls. But not solid, and hollow concrete walls are not a bit soundproof. One day I did hear not only the neighbor talking on the phone, but I could even discern the caller on the other end of the line! I have to get out of here...
Moving the furniture around does sound a little desperate, don't you think? I can think of at least ten things to do here that would be more productive. Not now though - time for "bed". (That's another story, to depressing to tell now.) Good night!
What a weekend! Been on my feet from Thursday to Sunday; first rigging up the stand with benches and everything the first day, then the actual fair the other three. Too much happened to account for it all, but there were some funny things worth mentioning. My dear friend Hannah was in Bergen for a few days, and I stayed with her at her sisters place the night from Saturday to Sunday. Her sister has just turned 50 (the reason for Hannah to be here in the first place), and she's away with her family on a Caribbean Cruise. I wouldn't mind that myself considering the snow and cold we have now, but an evening with a missed friend might in some ways be preferred. We talked all night, and she showed me this cute String Doll Gang key-ring she'd bought for her self. Her kids got one each as well. She'd bought them from a stand quite close to ours, and I decided to go there the day after. For 50 Nok I'd get me an "always positive and helpful String Doll with a special power".
During the night though I had a dream about the fair, and that particular stand. They were packing it up a little too early, but I walked over anyhow to see if I could find that special one for me. (There are over a 100 dolls to choose from...) The guy said to me I couldn't buy any - they were all prizes. In the dream I wasn't told for what, I just accepted it and left the stand in disappointment.
The next day I kept looking over to them and felt a little angry. Like they'd actually told me I couldn't get one. But as it turned out that seemed to be getting true, 'cause I hadn't any money as I thought I would. The money we'd earned wasn't going to be handed out that day after all, we'd get our share later. Then, almost half an hour before closing time they started to pack! Just like my dream! I figured I at least had to get a closer look at these dolls, even if I wasn't going to buy one, so when all the visitors had left at six I walked over.
The dolls were just as charming as I imagined, and I started to chat with the woman behind the table. I explained my financial situation and asked her if they had online shopping, and that she confirmed. For some reason I also told her about the dream, and I think she appreciated the story. She laughed a little and continued the packing with her partner. Then she suddenly came back and said: "Why don't you just pick one for free? Make it your prize."
Here he is:
Keyth - opens up doors that were previously locked.
I also met a lot of people I haven't seen for many years, and one was a next door neighbor from way back. She gave me an awesome compliment: "Wow! You actually look younger than you did 20 years ago!" Of course no one would mistake me for a 25-year old, but I'm guessing what lacked in my eyes back then really made me look old. No sparkle, no enthusiasm. I was truly unhappy then. I wouldn't say I'm "happy" now either, but I replaced much of the sadness with more constructive feelings. And even when things are going against me now, I'm still me. And I won't let anyone take that away from me without a fight.
After a pan-pan call to my mother she said: "You're not at the University any longer, you can stop procrastinating now. No need to do things at the last minute." Reason for this comment was that I applied for a job via email on Thursday 4.11 PM, and 4.25 PM I got a reply saying All applications are now assessed and reviewed. Unfortunately we are not able to hire you at this point. "What the #%¤*!!! Rejected in less than 15 minutes!!!"
But I did what we're taught to do - I called them to ask for an explanation. Just for my own benefit and future reference. If there was anything wrong with the application, or if I should have done it differently? Or maybe I just lacked something important? Anyways, I called her, and she reassured me that it was nothing wrong. They had simply found the right people already!
My lesson here is that I was not experienced enough, and maybe a bit naive, when I thought a last application date meant that I actually had until that day to apply! In this case there was no good reason for not sending that application, when I first saw the add a couple of weeks ago. But lesson learned, and the add that popped up this morning will be replied to before the end of the day! It basically has my name written on it, and I'll make sure I've done everything in my power to present me at my best.
But first I need to get me some of that gorgeous sun outside. A quick walk will do me good. :)
Had quite an active day today; up early and wrote a job application which I intended to deliver in person. (Since last date was Saturday, and I found out then I couldn't apply electronically.) That went well, at least they accepted my letter. From there I walked in and out of shops, just browsing for nothing. Grabbed a quick bite, and payed Toril a visit. Lovely Toril, how good to see her. Hopefully we can enjoy a longer lunch together, sometime in a near future.
The main focus for the day though, was this Kundalini meditation
led by a fellow Angelos therapist. Absolutely fantastic! This is an active meditation (to put it mildly...), and it's also useful to work it through with a kind of purpose in mind. Today's inspiration was joyous creativity.
So you start of with 15 minutes of shaking, and quoting Osho: "When I say shake, I mean your solidity, your rock-like being should shake to the very foundations so that it becomes liquid, fluid, melts, flows. And when the rock-like being becomes liquid, your body will follow. Then there is no shake, only shaking. Then nobody is doing it; it is simply happening. Then the doer is not." And my body was shaking...
Next 15 minutes of dancing, which is carried out very much in the same way. You become the music and your body moves the way it wants. I felt sand under my feet and heard the tribe chanting. I smiled. Happily. And now I have this strong urge to take up belly dancing.
Then another 15 minutes, now sitting in silence and letting everything in. Whatever that is. Many impressions, thoughts and ideas rushed through my head. Suddenly I saw myself as from above, saw the right side of my face like I was looking down on me. Like I was someone else. For a second I knew I was. And could it even have been a simultaneous interchange? Did someone else look at himself at the same time? Strange experience, and I know only a few who can read this without discarding me as a little loopy.
After this three quarter of an hour, we continued to stay "within our selves" but now in a more active state, doing whatever we felt like. It was time for expressions, and they can emerge in many forms. Writing, drawing, painting, singing perhaps. I didn't know how I'd react, but suspected words would come out. But I was surprised as I had more of pictures and images in my head. I got a piece of paper from Grethe and started to draw.
A strange creature it was. Before anything else I saw his wings, but he was more than an eagle. He had a human appearance, with arms and a man's torso. His lower body was like a horse's hind part, and his tail was long and flowing. He came descending from the sky, and I couldn't stop watching. As I afterwards told the others about my vision, one said: "I'm thinking future, present and past, captured in one being." Mmm, that makes sense. Think I like that.
Sitting at the airport with a cup of coffee, some chocolate, and the machine hooked up. The flight is delayed due to weather problems, and that got me an extra 45 min here. The area is crowded; mine is not the only one delayed, and people are a bit tense. Dogs, crying children, and stressed-out suits hastily walking by. Yet others seem to be taking everything with the greatest calm, and make use of the wait with a glass of beer. I was considering that for myself, but realized I don't need it. The air is so filled with energy, that I'm actually getting a little high out of it. The destination of my trip certainly adds to that feeling. Oops - time flies, and now they're calling.
