Where to start? This has been hell of a week, but I'm not sure whether I should nag about it. "Short" version: I handed in my exam Thursday a fortnight ago, but that wasn't the end of my "ordeals". But I've already told you I had to move and course weekend on top of that, so I won't repeat that. What I didn't know then though, was just how exhausting this process would turn out to be. I didn't know that when the day finally came to do the actual move it would be just me and my mum doing all the carrying. She's 70 and I'm not in the best shape. I guess the last is nothing but my own fault, but this is the reality anyway. So in two days we transported my belongings from old place to new. All except 13 black garbage bags filled with rubbish, which where taken elsewhere. We carried my king size bed (2 mattresses), the book section, the TV, the stereo, the sofa, the spare bed, the small tables, the therapy table and a LOT more, down the stairs, into the van, and then carried it all upstairs in the new flat. Now I haven't mentioned all the boxes and bags with the rest, but you can picture it, right?
Moving OUT took both Monday and Tuesday, from early morning to after midnight, and there wasn't much time to unpack. (That's what I'll have to do now, hopefully in time for Christmas) We still had some things left on Wednesday, the day I was supposed to hand in the keys of a well cleaned flat. But pretty much as with my exam, I made it in time. And the feeling when I walked backwards out of the flat with the swab in my hand, was equally as good. Goodbye old, hello new.
Next time I move it has to be some men involved, at least for helping me carry all my stuff. They're not called the stronger sex for nothing...
These paragraphs I actually wrote a couple of nights ago, but I thought it was a bit boring, so after posting it I almost immediately "took it back" for editing. Now I really can't find anything better to write about, so I'll post it anyhow just as it is! Well, I do have more interesting stuff to share with you, but I'm not sure if the moment is right yet. Have feeling though it won't be long...
Main focus now is on getting the place somewhat in shape so me and my kids can celebrate Christmas here, and I'm slowly getting there. There's a few challenges here now since the layout isn't exactly the same, and every time I come up with some genius solution I feel like I won the lottery. Just simple things, that probably no one else would notice. (That's why I tell you about them...) Like when I finally found some use for that roll of tarred twine I bought a couple of years ago. Then I only wanted it for the smell, and I kept it on the top of a cupboard. Now I've wound it around the end frames of that open shelf I placed in the kitchen, where the microwave and cook-books are.
With a little bit of luck and hard work I think there will be room for a Christmas tree as well...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Finito!
I did it. Again. The printer is working like crazy behind me as we speak; three copies of my paper will soon be materialized and ready to be handed in. Half-ass work as always, but that I'd actually write 23 pages in three days was beyond my wildest fantasies. I can live with the poor standard of it. The main thing is that I'm finally done, 'cause this time it's not only a paper, but the last paper. But as my daughter said this morning when I woke her up:Good on 'ya mum, now go on with that Master, will you!
I so feel like putting my head on the pillow for just a few minutes, but wouldn't that be the most pathetic thing? Fall deeply into sleep and miss the deadline?
No, I better get dressed and get downtown, and later I'll celebrate with Toril. She even convinced me of going back to Moliére, despite my promise to boycott them. But you know me, always forgiving...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Minor Mode
See you in the blogosphere, she said. Toril somehow seemed to expect that I'd have time to blog in the midst of writing my exam. Silly girl! Of course I don't have time for that, as it is now I'd need to write continuously for the remaining week in order to have even a remote chance of finishing this. So why do I blog now, having said that?
Simple - I just need to get my fingers started! I'm starting to panic, and it ain't funny. The problem though is that everyone else seem to have an unlimited faith in my abilities, and whenever I express my worries the answer is: "Nah, you'll fix it. You always do." Well, the point here isn't to prove anyone wrong, that would be downright stupid, but I just need to whine a little. Get it off my chest, so to speak. So anyone who won't care for listening to my jeremiad, I recommend you to skip the next paragraph. Once I've sung out I'll be in a better mood. Here it goes; in B minor:
I'm sitting here in the dark. Alone. Everyone else is having a good time, preparing for advent with their loved ones. The reality of the consequences of the choices I've made this fall is hitting me hard. And I want to cry. Is this all I ever be? The one who falls on the finishing line? While the rest pass me by, including life itself. Now I do cry, stupid idea to strike a chord at this moment. Emotional miserable wretch, I am. But this is just a job that's need to get done, right? And one way of motivate yourself for doing tedious tasks is to set up a reward for yourself. "When you're done, you can do that thing you've been wanting to do for so long." Yes, motivation is a keyword (which actually might be useful in my paper as well), but what if the thing I want is beyond my control to get? No shoes will make me happy now. Nor any other materialistic symbols, for that matter. Another way of motivating yourself, and perhaps even a better one, is to visualize yourself at the other end; after the work is done, and you've accomplished what you were set up to do. But not even that is helping me, 'cause I really can't see what I'm supposed to be doing then! And where should I be? "Move home, Karin." some people say, while other say "Stay here." I've also heard: "Don't move there, at least." Like that was an option. OK, I'm done singing here - and I'm even further away from organizational culture than when I started this screed, and how to discuss possible actions and measures leaders can take in order to ease the process of organization change and ensure optimal development, is an enigma to me. These discussions should also have an emphasis on how to counteract and manage conflicts and unwillingness to cooperate. Maybe I'm not so numb anyway - a consultant might be a good idea? Someone who can look at the organization with fresh and competent eyes, and set up a plan for the change? A consultant specialized in the field of implementation of strategies, team- and leader development, cultural building, management advice and such? I need a consultant myself, I think...
But aren't you a silly one? Didn't I just tell you not to read the previous paragraph? And yet you did... Don't say I didn't warn you, though. Also, just think of how little you had to read if you only had listened to my advice! How do you feel now?
I'm not crying anymore at least, and hopefully neither are you. So - you go back to whatever you were doing, and I'll just get going - period.
Simple - I just need to get my fingers started! I'm starting to panic, and it ain't funny. The problem though is that everyone else seem to have an unlimited faith in my abilities, and whenever I express my worries the answer is: "Nah, you'll fix it. You always do." Well, the point here isn't to prove anyone wrong, that would be downright stupid, but I just need to whine a little. Get it off my chest, so to speak. So anyone who won't care for listening to my jeremiad, I recommend you to skip the next paragraph. Once I've sung out I'll be in a better mood. Here it goes; in B minor:
I'm sitting here in the dark. Alone. Everyone else is having a good time, preparing for advent with their loved ones. The reality of the consequences of the choices I've made this fall is hitting me hard. And I want to cry. Is this all I ever be? The one who falls on the finishing line? While the rest pass me by, including life itself. Now I do cry, stupid idea to strike a chord at this moment. Emotional miserable wretch, I am. But this is just a job that's need to get done, right? And one way of motivate yourself for doing tedious tasks is to set up a reward for yourself. "When you're done, you can do that thing you've been wanting to do for so long." Yes, motivation is a keyword (which actually might be useful in my paper as well), but what if the thing I want is beyond my control to get? No shoes will make me happy now. Nor any other materialistic symbols, for that matter. Another way of motivating yourself, and perhaps even a better one, is to visualize yourself at the other end; after the work is done, and you've accomplished what you were set up to do. But not even that is helping me, 'cause I really can't see what I'm supposed to be doing then! And where should I be? "Move home, Karin." some people say, while other say "Stay here." I've also heard: "Don't move there, at least." Like that was an option. OK, I'm done singing here - and I'm even further away from organizational culture than when I started this screed, and how to discuss possible actions and measures leaders can take in order to ease the process of organization change and ensure optimal development, is an enigma to me. These discussions should also have an emphasis on how to counteract and manage conflicts and unwillingness to cooperate. Maybe I'm not so numb anyway - a consultant might be a good idea? Someone who can look at the organization with fresh and competent eyes, and set up a plan for the change? A consultant specialized in the field of implementation of strategies, team- and leader development, cultural building, management advice and such? I need a consultant myself, I think...
But aren't you a silly one? Didn't I just tell you not to read the previous paragraph? And yet you did... Don't say I didn't warn you, though. Also, just think of how little you had to read if you only had listened to my advice! How do you feel now?
I'm not crying anymore at least, and hopefully neither are you. So - you go back to whatever you were doing, and I'll just get going - period.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Secret Handshake
Fantastic week it has been, and as someone suggested today: "It seems like you're in a flow?". Well, he would know. ;) But do you know what flow is? According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi it's:
"Being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."
Probably the closest I'll ever get to play jazz, but that's OK. I can settle for just listening to the real jazz. Anyway; flow it is, at the moment. But audacious as I am I'd also like to add something to the previous explanation: When I'm in a flow it's a very spiritual state I'm in, and it's like I can see all the connections. And everything is connected. I could certainly dig a whole lot deeper in to this, but I won't as it's not necessary for the time being. Think I'll just tell you about yesterday.'Cause even if you don't see the connections, I do.
A couple of weeks ago I got this mail from an old friend in Sweden. Personally I hadn't seen him for ages, but as he's a close friend of my brother's he's still present in my mind somehow. Well, he said he was coming to Bergen for a conference, and that if I had time for a cup of coffee that would be nice. Deal, I said, and numbers were exchanged. First we met on Wednesday for that coffee, but just a quick one, since he was to meet the rest of the participants for dinner. We chatted casually for half an hour or so, and decided that we'd meet the next day as well. That was yesterday.
The weather was quite miserable, snowing sideways as it was. But nothing a glass of beer couldn't cure. It was quite late already when I arrived in the city, and I also had to reach the 1 o'clock bus home, so we were very efficient and cut to the chase after only one drink. (He's a politician, probably used to make swift decisions...) Now, stop right there my friends, and shame on you! I think I know what you're thinking of! No, this was purely academical, no Hanky Panky, mind you. But somehow he must have sensed that we had more in common that was visible, and I wondered if I had it written on my forehead that my musical taste is somewhat peculiar? So instead of talking about that day's boring lectures about local government, we were soon deeply into intricate musings about jazz. Groovy, swinging jazz. How I love that.
When I got home I sat down in front of the computer and sent him the links I'd promised; the musical milieu here in Bergen is quite good, even if some parts are somewhat underground - almost unknown to the common people. For instance; I told him about that one special happening I went to last month, and that he and his wife would have loved to be there, soaking in all that beat. Foreign drums, and strange tones.
So maybe I'll have visitors here next year from my hometown? That would be so nice, and I could introduce them to some of my friends here. I even have friends who are playing themselves. Then we'd all go to concerts and explore the depths of the Norwegian musical scene together.
"Being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."
Probably the closest I'll ever get to play jazz, but that's OK. I can settle for just listening to the real jazz. Anyway; flow it is, at the moment. But audacious as I am I'd also like to add something to the previous explanation: When I'm in a flow it's a very spiritual state I'm in, and it's like I can see all the connections. And everything is connected. I could certainly dig a whole lot deeper in to this, but I won't as it's not necessary for the time being. Think I'll just tell you about yesterday.'Cause even if you don't see the connections, I do.
A couple of weeks ago I got this mail from an old friend in Sweden. Personally I hadn't seen him for ages, but as he's a close friend of my brother's he's still present in my mind somehow. Well, he said he was coming to Bergen for a conference, and that if I had time for a cup of coffee that would be nice. Deal, I said, and numbers were exchanged. First we met on Wednesday for that coffee, but just a quick one, since he was to meet the rest of the participants for dinner. We chatted casually for half an hour or so, and decided that we'd meet the next day as well. That was yesterday.
The weather was quite miserable, snowing sideways as it was. But nothing a glass of beer couldn't cure. It was quite late already when I arrived in the city, and I also had to reach the 1 o'clock bus home, so we were very efficient and cut to the chase after only one drink. (He's a politician, probably used to make swift decisions...) Now, stop right there my friends, and shame on you! I think I know what you're thinking of! No, this was purely academical, no Hanky Panky, mind you. But somehow he must have sensed that we had more in common that was visible, and I wondered if I had it written on my forehead that my musical taste is somewhat peculiar? So instead of talking about that day's boring lectures about local government, we were soon deeply into intricate musings about jazz. Groovy, swinging jazz. How I love that.
When I got home I sat down in front of the computer and sent him the links I'd promised; the musical milieu here in Bergen is quite good, even if some parts are somewhat underground - almost unknown to the common people. For instance; I told him about that one special happening I went to last month, and that he and his wife would have loved to be there, soaking in all that beat. Foreign drums, and strange tones.
So maybe I'll have visitors here next year from my hometown? That would be so nice, and I could introduce them to some of my friends here. I even have friends who are playing themselves. Then we'd all go to concerts and explore the depths of the Norwegian musical scene together.
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