Saturday, November 04, 2006

Sea, Stars & Salvation

"A long time ago there was this little sailor girl. She was desirous, she had her own ship and she ruled the seas. No storm was too fierce, no wave too high. As she got older she began sailing in company, and for decades they traveled great distances and guested many ports. The sea was sometimes rough, but nothing she couldn't handle. She was a redheaded viking, she was a Phoenician queen, she was a pirate of the seven seas .

One day the ship went under.

She was caught by a current; did almost drown. Hardly knowing what was up or down she managed to swim to the surface, and she grasped desperately for air. Now the night had fallen.

In the dim moonlight she could see floating debris all around her, but she was alone. Her company was nowhere to be seen. She gathered the remains of the ship, and made herself a simple raft. The night seemed to have no ending, and she drifted at sea for an eternity. All she could do was to watch the dark sky, and map the stars. Her mind was a mirror of the universe; endless, unexplored and incomprehensible. Lost.

Yes, she was lost. She watched the stars and recognized Ursa Minor, only to realize that she didn't know what to do with it. Her navigating skills were nothing more than a vague memory, impossible to retrieve. What had happened? Hadn't she been sailing for all her life? Exhausted she fell asleep, and she lay shivering in the cold night. As the sun rose next morning, and the first ray of light hit her eyes, she woke up again.

She stood up on the raft and turned around, slowly. In all directions there was nothing but water, water, water. That first day the weather was fine and the sea stayed calm. She had managed to salvage supplies from the boat, so for the moment she had both water to drink and food to eat.

This is a story, so how she could survive on the raft for so long is a mystery we don't have to explain, but true is that she was there. Some days were so glorious she almost forgot she was lost, and others so tempestuous she wished for the sharks to rip her flesh and end her sufferings. Days, weeks and months went by. Even years. And all the time she wondered how she had ended up drifting at sea. Sometimes she was close enough to see the shore, and birds came visiting her on the raft. And occasionally other boats passed by her, and she waved to the people on board. She shouted to them as well. Why didn't they pick her up, you may ask? This is a story, remember? Things don't work the same way here.

But anyway, she sat there on her raft and asked herself all these questions. Was it possible it was all a dream? Maybe the others didn't see what she knew? Maybe her raft was a mirage, looking like a full-rigged ship from a distance? And how could they know she had let someone else steer her ship for so long she'd forgotten how to sail? And the ocean was bottomless and dark."

Not to be taken too seriously, it's a story, alright?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

A wonderful story, Karin - and one which reminds me of myself while I was sinking quickly a few years ago. You think you're navigating your ship (life) with authority and skill, but the truth is truly more like a mirage!! I let someone else take charge of my life, someone else were navigating me telling me what I could do and not do - I can't even comprehend today that I let someone else take charge of MY life!!!!!!!!!!

I suggest you get off that raft floating around in the middle of the ocean. You may not have noticed, but you have actually taken control of your life, but it does take some time before you realize it. A university degree might help, and even better an interesting job with friendly colleagues!!

I still have many days where I float around not knowing which direction I'm going or certainly the fact that I'm going in the wrong direction (read my blog!), but my disillusion is more on a surface level. I'm not worried about living my life through someone else anymore. I have a direction, I know where I'm going, or at least I'm not so worried, because I'm able to live my life through ME and not someone else!

It sounds like you're reading Red Sky in Mourning, am I right?

Trust me my friend, you'll be rescued soon - there is always a ship who cares about the shipwrecked at sea :) In the meantime, trust yourself and the choices you have made, which have brought you were you are today. Look at it from the bright side, you have a raft AND food and water!!

Karin said...

As I said, not to be taken too seriously; but of course you know me to well to see that it wasn't only a story. And I also believe any writing always has some "truth" to it.

And for today I'll look forward to steer my raft down the hills, to spend some quality time with you other pirates.

(No, I'm not reading that book, but maybe I should? I think the holidays will be spent reading, and NOT academic stuff...)

Anonymous said...

Hey, this pirate is waiting patiently for you swilling coffee in her lonesomeness :) You may actually need a raft this morning to get to the institution of thinking and learning as the rain has poured down in huge quantities all night long!!

I'm actually so excited about going out for a bite to eat AND watch a movie that I have butterflies in my tummy, silly me ;)

By the way, arrived at the premises at 7.30 am to find a lot of cars still parking overnight!! I believe I'll be chasing Mr.Parking Executive soon - once again!! I might as well stay on this warpath and deal with the case - maybe future students will appreciate my rage one day :o)

Karin said...

Funny, haven't thought of that before, but who could possibly illustrate that sort of indignified rage better than Donald?

(And me silly too, I guess, I think there are a few butterflies flying around in me as well.)

Anonymous said...

Karin, I was actually thinking about you floating around in the Pacific and the Atlantic sipping delicious local vintage wine that you may want to reflect on the words of Søren Kierkegaard who said that

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards"

You have a lot of life experience to reflect upon while basking around on your raft, experience that is absolutely amazing to the regular "tom, dick and harry" in your neighborhood!! Indulge in your memories and your experience, and remind yourself of the good times often, although do not forget the bad times as you don't want to end up on another poorly built raft!! You may not be as lucky next time :o)

Karin said...

Stupid story, I mean the things I really wanted to tell sort of drifted away. Much like my raft, I guess. But that's how it is, you start in one way, and you never know where you'll end up.

One thing I want to add to the story is that I don't mind sitting on my raft, I'll probably get the hang of the navigation again, but it's more like I'm scared of the depth below. A raft isn't very safe , you know, there's no time to relax. Have to keep it floating.