In My Sphere

As it has been established for quite some time now that the Earth is round (or spherical), not flat, it shouldn't be any danger involved pushing ones boundaries, right? Seeking out my limits shouldn't mean I will fall off the edge of the Earth? I guess when I broaden my horizons the way I am now, the only thing I risk is seeing the whole World then? Exciting thought. I'll send you a post card...

Who's Driving?

I'm not sure if it'll help with my writing, but my mood certainly got a boost. I saw my friend Toril today (correction: yesterday, as I didn't finish this post the same day I started it), and she tried her best to set me straight. I must admit her effort was quite good, and she reminded me of a few things I needed to hear. But there was one metaphor she used that got me thinking.

Now, what she told me was to get into the driving seat. Although it's a good metaphor for taking control over your own situation, and not letting anyone else push you around, I'm not sure I like the consequence of it. 'Cause if you're taking over the wheel, doesn't that mean the previous driver is now left where you didn't want to be? Is that fair? Would you rather be the bully?

But this doesn't make sense, I see that. Of course "the car" is a symbol for your own life, which you should drive yourself, but then again, isn't it kinda sad if we're all driving around alone in our cars? So how can we travel but still be together with other people? Use public transportation!

The problem with trying to expand a metaphor is that you'll sooner or later dig a pit for yourself, and with this one there are several dangers. Like, who's driving the vehicle? How can we avoid unwanted passengers?

Therefore I'd say life isn't an ordinary subway trip under the city's ground, maybe it's more like an adventure bus charter tour? Imagine us all in charge of our own buses, where we decide where we want to go, and we also decide who's allowed on board. (People who are misbehaving are dropped off in the middle of nowhere, preferably in the alps during winter.) Some people organize exotic tours which will take us to far away places, where other's are merely shopping trips to the nearest table cloth factory. To make your charter company a successful one, and leave the passengers wanting to come back to you, you'll have to drive comfortably and safely. The service has to be to everyone's satisfactory, and some entertainment is a plus. A memorable trip with no unpleasant surprises (we just want the exciting ones...), isn't that something we all wish for?

As we can't be behind the wheel 24/7, every driver needs to rest, we can all be tourists and ride along with someone else. If we're lucky maybe we'll bump into that nice couple in seat five and six, from last years trip to Budapest? Or that beautiful woman who sat quietly in the back while we were driving through Provence? If that mysterious man who boarded in Marrakesh last spring suddenly showed up again, now that would be really thrilling.

The experiences we get while traveling with others will all help us on our next trip. Either we're driving our own bus a short trip to a local waterfall, or if we are passengers on a tour to a Mayan temple, we'll know how to make the journey momentous and unforgettable for everyone.

I could on forever here, but I'll better stop here. And of course, this weren't meant to be taken too seriously, it was just an intellectual/philosophical experiment. But I rather like those.

Water Ripples

Thin Ice

I've written before about my grandfather, but that was the one on my father's side, and now I want to tell you something about the other one. His name was John, and he was extremely resourceful but also a very gentle man. And did always have a joke on hand. Where all his funny stories came from was a mystery, and even in his 90's he made us laugh of something we'd never heard before.

This man was a hard working man, and he'd be outdoors whenever he could, riding his bike in summer and skiing in winter. When not working of course. Never complained about anything, and we almost lost him once when he'd fallen and hit his head without telling grandma, nor anyone else for that matter. Weeks later he started to be very disoriented and "senile". But luckily there were doctors who wouldn't settle for an age related diagnose, and they found out that he had a large clot of blood pressuring inside his skull. It was removed (the clot - not his skull!), he wore a funny wig for a couple of weeks, and was soon restored to his old giggly self and active life. This was sometime in the 80's, and he lived on for another twenty or so years, in the end without his dear Sonja, my lovely grandmother. (But her story will be for another day.)

Nothing could stop him, and at 85 he still rode his bike to the next town if the meatloaf was cheaper there. Not because he was cheap, he just liked the challenge. He also carried a great love for fishing, all year round, and that was actually the inspiration for this post.

No one could walk on ice like he could, no one else would dare to step out on as thin ice as he did. That got me thinking. You have to be careful. Obviously. But you would also have to be planning ahead, knowing your surroundings and the elements; where the currents are, the depths and shallows. Avoiding the weaker areas where the reeds grow. In a sense you have to communicate with the ice, listen to sounds it makes when it's under too much pressure. With any squealing or cracking noise you'd better stop, relax and then step back a little. At least the ice was safe where you came from. And then you'd find a safer route, if possible. If not - you'd just go back home, and then try again another day. There's always later.

And maybe his granddaughter will walk on water too one day.

The Cookie Monster

A long time ago we moved with our two small kids (2 and 4) to a very family friendly neighborhood. You know the type, where no cars are driving close to the houses, and the children are running all over the place? I remember one day, not long after we'd moved in, sitting outside talking a neighbor about this and that, when one of the girls from the area came in to the garden and asked if she could have a cookie. My neighbor discretely tried to stop me from giving the little girl anything, and she explained why after the kid had left. "You see, she was adopted from South America when she was 2, where she'd been brought up in a orphanage. From what I've heard there was little to eat, and they soon learned to steal whatever food they could find. So if you give her anything from here she'll always come back, begging for more. She's insatiable." said my neighbor.

There are many things we can be deprived of, but I guess the long term effect in any case can be that we're left with a revenous appetite like the Cookie Monster. Insatiable. And we really don't believe it's there when we finally get it, and therefore try to get as much as we can at once.

So I'm so sorry for stealing from the cookie jar. But don't worry, my thieving days are over. I'll ask next time.

Playing Games

"You're such a bad looser", one often say if someone gets really upset when losing a game. And when my daughter was little, we dreaded to start a game of Monopoly with her, simply because she threw tantrums if she didn't win, and then she was sulky and upset for hours. She probably got that from her father, he wasn't much fun to play with either. On the other hand, he excused himself, and I think he might have a point there, with him being so competitive.

I'm not a bad loser; of course I like to win, but if I lose I just don't seem to care that much. However, I'm starting to think that that not necessarily only is a good trait. Maybe a few more fighting bones in my body wouldn't hurt?

But it's not that I don't care about the game, on the contrary, I care a lot. You see, I don't mind losing, if everyone's just playing fair. What I do mind is cheating, and twisting and bending the rules. That really makes me upset. And now I think I'm just about to throw a tantrum too...

I played a game of cards the other day. Card games a tricky that way, as those 52 cards of the deck (joker excluded) can be used in so many ways. You can even play on your own, but this game though, wasn't a game of solitaire.

The cards were dealt, and I thought I knew which game we were playing. There are a zillion different games; there are gambling games, trick-taking games, rummy-style, shedding and accumulating games, fishing games and so on. And of course, there might be local family rules as well, just to make it even more complicated. But as I said, I thought I knew what we were doing, and placed my bets accordingly.

Disaster, and I lost bigtime. Really annoying, 'cause I might have played differently if I'd only read up on the rules. Damned dogs...

Demining

I thought I'd pick up on yesterday's theme and introduce another metaphor/analogy for the human mind, which is sort of related to the previous. And obviously it came to me while I did what I so often do - reflect on my own behavior and reactions.

There was an image I came across, while browsing through the "My Picture" folder in search for something else, that for a moment made me both happy and tearful at the same time. In short, there was a wave of emotions that hit so hard I could feel it through my whole body. But I also noticed a change in me; had this happened a year ago, I'd probably let that wave carry me away to a place where I couldn't have stopped crying, all drenched in sorrow and sadness. The reaction now though was a little different.

I simply couldn't allow myself to be that hurt again, it just takes so much energy. And it's not very constructive. But I couldn't help but wonder if this was a sign that I was getting cold and disillusioned, or could it be healthy sign? Had I simply learned a new strategy? I saw that avoiding triggers like these was much like staying clear of land mines.

Imagine your mind as your country, where you're a citizen. Every letdown, every bad thing that ever happened to, lies buried just underneath the ground surface at the outskirts of your consciousness, ready to go off at any second. Anything that provokes a memory can activate the mechanisms and set off an explosion of turmoil and agonizing feelings, that inhibits you and keeps you from moving on. So how to navigate a safe path through this mental minefield? Or do we have to in the first place?

Why, I think we do. Keeping in line with the analogy, these mines are denying us access from certain areas, and acts like a barrier stopping us from be truly at peace in our minds. You see, there's freedom beyond that danger zone.

Decomp

Hola, and now a deep breath! I've probably just been diving a little too deep lately, and as you know there's then need for scheduled decompression stops while ascending to the surface. But I'd also like to dwell a little on that metaphor; diving that is. I think that when we speak about diving and going deep as an analogy for human mental activity, we often tend to associate that with something negative, like being depressed or feeling down. And something you're "dragged" into; something that's beyond your control.

Not necessarily.

First, if it's your decision, if you plan to dive, you'll need to be prepared. Safety is of the utmost importance when it comes to diving, for obvious reasons - you're coming up again! Depending on the motives for diving (recreational, commercial, military, rescue, scientific, technical, et.c) you're getting trained and equipped accordingly, but it's all about control. No matter if you're wreck diving, hunting for long lost treasures from Spanish galleons or if you're working as a North Sea oil diver, you'll have to have the acquired skill and expertise to accomplish your task. Even the "philosophical diver" I met a few years back, needed to keep track of time and his air supply. His favorite dive was to only descended about 15 meters, find a nice flat rock, lie on his back and watch the sun spread its rays through the water. He also grew his own marijuana which he used to smoke or bake into chocolate cakes, but I'm pretty sure he never combined the two; drugs and diving.

So when I say I've been diving, I think it has been a controlled dive, taking necessary precautions to reach the surface without getting the bends. And what a wonderful time that is to contemplate and reflect on life, all surrounded by vast waters and silence.

Sensitive Dependence On Initial Conditions...

...or put in more modern words "the butterfly effect", is a very interesting phenomenon which could be applied to almost any area in life. It means that even the slightest change in the initial state of any event will alter its outcome. Let's use the ball-on-the-hill-metaphor. A ball placed on the crest of a hill can roll down in any direction depending on its starting point, and even undistinguished differences will have an effect. But as usual I can't resist the temptation of exploring the possibilities of a metaphor.

If the initial conditions determines which way the ball will roll, does it mean that it has to stay on that path? If you see the ball is going to hit a rock, wouldn't it be possible to change direction? If the ball stops for some reason before it reaches its destination, couldn't you remove that obstacle? Couldn't two different ways lead to the same location? Anyway, the possibilities are endless, and to be able to predict the consequences of your actions you'll need some experience and good knowledge of physics - "the science that deals with matter, energy, motion, and force."

I don't feel this post is finished as it is, but I'll publish it anyway. Maybe there's some input from cyber-space. A small and distant flutter of wings?

Ways Of Water

Water is the source of life. But the quality of water can vary, and there are several measurements that say something about a water body's health. Probably the most known is how pH measure how acidic or basic water is, but there are others too. The temperature can be very important, changes can affect the ability of water to hold oxygen as well as the ability of organisms to resist certain pollutants.

Specific conductance is a measure of the ability of water to conduct an electrical current, and will give a good idea of the amount of dissolved material in the water. Next, turbidity is the amount of particulate matter that is suspended in water, which makes the water cloudy. It is measured by how light shines through the water.

Although water molecules contain an oxygen atom, this oxygen is not what is needed for those who live in water. A small amount of oxygen is actually dissolved in water, and is breathed by fish and other living organisms.

Rapidly moving water, such as in a mountain stream or large river, tends to contain a lot of dissolved oxygen, while stagnant water contains little. Life can have a hard time in stagnant water, that has a lot of rotting material in it. At last, one can determine the "hardness" of a water by measuring the amount of dissolved calcium and magnesium in it.

So, healthy water is neither to acid nor basic, it's free from pollution and waste, not too soft, not too hard, and most importantly - it runs freely. In stagnant water hardly anything thrive, and some of it that does are dangers like mosquitoes, parasites and harmful bacteria. There's a beautiful exception though, and that's the Lotus flower, which also has it's own symbolic value. When I came this far in my water "research" I was a little disappointed, it didn't fit into my metaphor and how water needs to be flowing. But after thinking hard I came up with the solution:

The stagnant waters that lotuses prefer aren't made over the night, these are natural evolutions that has taken a long time to develop. They're not man-made trapped waters in some tank, nor are they ground or surface water stagnation due to poor drainage or excessive watering.

A habitat like that must somehow found just the right balance to keep on living, and provide a home for a wonder like the sacred waterlily. And one condition is that there has to be enough ambient sun.

This post could go on for ever and ever, as the river does.

Waves and ice.

Diving and drowning.

Life.

Thanks to USGS for some of the facts...

Quality Time Ponderings

We humans are strange creatures really. We so desperately need to define everything that we constantly compromise ourselves when trying to label our surroundings. Not that we are the only ones trying to make the world understandable, I just think that we are experts in messing it up in our efforts. I mean, to survive, thrive and procreate every living being need to identify dangers, enemies, safe food sources, possible mates and so on. Any stupid cow know which grass to chew, and you don't see cats canoodling dogs that often either.

But the human world is so complex, and it's expanding and developing continuously, making it even harder to make sense of it all. The problems start when we can't find the right pegs to pin everything on. And we also are more stupid than the average monkey, 'cause they seem to learn from their mistakes. If they eat something that'll make them sick, they're likely to stay off that food. But we both drink and eat until we throw up, only to do it again the next weekend. Not very clever, I'd say...

Is there a point to this story, you might ask? As always I'm not really sure until the end, but let's see.

One thing about defining and labeling things, is that by doing so they automatically get certain characteristics and expectations attached to them. A car for instance, is a motor vehicle with four wheels, that can get you from A to B. A car is actually very good metaphor for many things, and I've had several lecturers who's used it to explain both programming and mathematical equations. One of the reasons it's working so well is that, I'd say, most people know what a car is, without any further explanations. If it's a top model fancy car with a 6 cylinder engine purring like a cat, or something more resembling a wreck like my Nissan Micra, they still share the same concept. It's a transport device.

But is that all? A car can be a show object, never to be used for driving. It can be an old veteran or a toy model without engine. I could go on here for a while, but I think you're starting to see what I'm getting at? And besides, a car has no feelings, if not taking Christine and Herbie into account.

Human relations on the other hand are far more complicated to define, even though we're trying to pinpoint them with the same accuracy as when classifying vegetables. To identify something you need to recognize it by some sort of reference, either be it personal experience or facts from a book. Feelings are tricky that way, 'cause they usually don't come one at the time. They appear in clusters, hard to separate, and that same feeling can also occur in a number of different situations, each time mingled up with other various feelings. An orange is still an orange in a fruit salad, but when blended with a lot of other fruits not so easy to detect.

(If this had been an academic text, every single statement would have been needed to be followed by clear arguments and extensive explanations, but "in real life" I prefer a style where most points can be read between the lines. Fun and interesting, and it also saves me from too much typing. So I trust that you'll understand my way of thinking without me spelling it out.)

Anyway, I talked about feelings and relations. Wouldn't it be great to be able to take a simple blood test or having an X-ray to see what you are "suffering" from? If you're anemic or your leg is broken, it's no problem for a doctor to diagnose those conditions, but testing for something like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a total different matter. Only by identifying the symptoms and ruling out other diseases you can get a fairly reliable diagnose. This might be the way to define feelings and human relations as well? Check the symptoms!

Or to put it simply - if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

(IKEA) Surprise

About a year ago I bought a new shelf unit. "Träby" from IKEA; made from ash (veneer) with a brushed surface for that "genuine wooden feel". According to the information sheet next to the display, it would also be possible to get glass shelves and doors for the unit, which for me was a point for actually buying this furniture. But despite the fact they didn't carry those glass items at the time, I still went ahead and bought the rest. Rather stupid, it turned out.

Someone told me that generally it's not wise to buy things at IKEA piece by piece, you'll never know if they'll ever going to stock what you need. If you're buying - make sure you'll get everything, if not - don't buy! In general that is, 'cause after a year of asking every time I went to my local IKEA, and getting a "no - I can't even see it in our system" and then finally surrender in disappointment, realizing that the unit never would be finished, then - there it was today! I was as happy as I'd won the lottery.

This was only material goods, so in the end it won't have that much to do with my state of wellbeing, but there might be a small lesson?

The moment you think you'll never find what your looking for it might just be there, right in front of you. You just have to recognize it when you see it.

PS. Nevertheless I must admit I like IKEA, being Swedish and all it's almost part of my culture. And mind you, I did jump down from my first kiddies wardrobe way back in the early 70's!

New Dancefloor

People care to write on the net about the most peculiar events. Like this one.

Hiam Sports & Social Club is "situated in the small village of Prickwillow some 4 miles from the city of Ely in Cambridgeshire, and has one of the best dance floors in East Anglia and holds regular Ballroom and Sequence Dances, Country Music Nights and Rock'n'Roll Nights." That's not strange, and their website seems to be quite well organized and not bad at all. I'm sure it's quite useful for their members and other who's interested in what's going on there. But they have recently installed a new dancefloor, and they documented the whole process!

Maybe not so strange after all, just look what I care to write about...

Disclosure

If things go well, I'll reveal "the secret" on Friday...

On Dancing (Again)

I Think The Earth Moved

I might have mentioned that I'm the honorary treasurer of the club where my son plays basketball, and in connection with that I have just wound up last years accounts. All which is to be presented at the annual meeting. Last night we had a final board meeting before the annual, just to tidy up next years budget and some other things. I didn't tell you this because it's particularly interesting, on the contrary, it's actually quite boring. Figures and numbers that need to be correct, and a lot of talk around it. That's why I needed a little break last night after the meeting.

So what can you do in the middle of February, thats free, and won't take long? Easy. You'll travel the world! With the help of modern technology and a good portion of vivid imagination you can go anywhere in a jiffy.

I drove directly from the meeting to a dear friend of mine. We had something to celebrate, and did that with some cake and coffee and... Yummy, indeed. A little later I said something about wanting to visit Monte Negro sometime. Not exactly sure how far up on the coastline it was situated (it turned out to be much further south than we'd expected), we decided to check it online. But why settle for a crude graphic map when you can use Google Earth? In your own living room you can zoom in on every single spot on the earth, it's absolutely amazing. Not all the maps have equally good resolution, for example my hometown doesn't show that well. But when we started our trip to places he'd been, it became a totally different experience. Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait and so on are extremely well represented. But the travel there went further, beyond the actual places. When we came to Babylon, I made some associations to an assignment I had last year. While working on that essay I came across Hammurabi's Code of Laws, and also wrote a blogpost about that.

And like that we traveled here and there, sharing memories and experiences. I took him to Australia and Canada, with a stopover in Sardinia, while he showed me Curacao. We also had a look at a few places neither of us had been before, but that looked tempting. Like the Maldives.

Well back "home" again we suddenly realized that the world had turned upside down on the screen. In Google Earth you can control the map of the world in almost every possible angle and direction, and when we'd zoomed out somehow there was another perspective to it. Refreshing.

Human Usability

I've been looking for an opening for my writing quite a while now, somehow it seemed like I had more on my mind that needed to be aired when I was "lower". Although, I hadn't completely gone off writing, it just hasn't been visible here, as most words came out in private letters and mails. (And as any with an interest in literature knows, the genre of The Letter is a rather complex and fascinating one, but also problematic. An illustrating example is the correspondence between Héloïse and Abélard which took place in the Middle Ages. In a rhetorically highly embellished style the love letters also refers to historical events, but they were presumably not meant for the public. However in the years to come they have undoubtedly been regarded as literature, and have been read as such by many people.)

Back to the subject. If there ever was one, I'm not sure.

One of the courses I'm attending this semester is about "User Interface", and that involves a vast amount of disciplines. To understand how people behave, and to know how to design well functioning interfaces we have to study a little bit of both psychology and learning theories among other things. (I might consult you on that later, Toril) This is a very interesting field; practically everything we do is about communication, and in this case with computers or computer based technology. Needless to say perhaps, but this course is mainly about Human Computer Interaction Design, but to explain the concepts of it our lecturer used some metaphors. She's a dog lover and therefor she referred to the dog as an example of a reliable user interface. Sure, there are some seriously messed up dogs around the world, but basically they sound the same, and give the dog a biscuit and he wags his tail. Wagging tail = happy dog. Comforting to know some things are persistent.

What we have to do now for this course is to come up with a prototype for a design, either something new or an improvement for something poorly designed already existent. You'll probably see by now where I'm heading, 'cause with the dog in mind I came to think of something similar, but yet so frustratingly different in its inconsistent behavior. Yes, that's right. The Human. Very much in need of an update in its user interface. Just think about it.

I could go on for pages and fill volumes with this subject, so I'll just leave it up to you to ponder upon it and fill in the blanks. But for starters: Why is a simple hug so difficult to handle for some, while others respond immediately? (Luckily I've found one who is quite good at that...) And a well designed interface would never answer YES when it meant NO. And where's the bloody OK button?

Sea, Stars & Salvation

"A long time ago there was this little sailor girl. She was desirous, she had her own ship and she ruled the seas. No storm was too fierce, no wave too high. As she got older she began sailing in company, and for decades they traveled great distances and guested many ports. The sea was sometimes rough, but nothing she couldn't handle. She was a redheaded viking, she was a Phoenician queen, she was a pirate of the seven seas .

One day the ship went under.

She was caught by a current; did almost drown. Hardly knowing what was up or down she managed to swim to the surface, and she grasped desperately for air. Now the night had fallen.

In the dim moonlight she could see floating debris all around her, but she was alone. Her company was nowhere to be seen. She gathered the remains of the ship, and made herself a simple raft. The night seemed to have no ending, and she drifted at sea for an eternity. All she could do was to watch the dark sky, and map the stars. Her mind was a mirror of the universe; endless, unexplored and incomprehensible. Lost.

Yes, she was lost. She watched the stars and recognized Ursa Minor, only to realize that she didn't know what to do with it. Her navigating skills were nothing more than a vague memory, impossible to retrieve. What had happened? Hadn't she been sailing for all her life? Exhausted she fell asleep, and she lay shivering in the cold night. As the sun rose next morning, and the first ray of light hit her eyes, she woke up again.

She stood up on the raft and turned around, slowly. In all directions there was nothing but water, water, water. That first day the weather was fine and the sea stayed calm. She had managed to salvage supplies from the boat, so for the moment she had both water to drink and food to eat.

This is a story, so how she could survive on the raft for so long is a mystery we don't have to explain, but true is that she was there. Some days were so glorious she almost forgot she was lost, and others so tempestuous she wished for the sharks to rip her flesh and end her sufferings. Days, weeks and months went by. Even years. And all the time she wondered how she had ended up drifting at sea. Sometimes she was close enough to see the shore, and birds came visiting her on the raft. And occasionally other boats passed by her, and she waved to the people on board. She shouted to them as well. Why didn't they pick her up, you may ask? This is a story, remember? Things don't work the same way here.

But anyway, she sat there on her raft and asked herself all these questions. Was it possible it was all a dream? Maybe the others didn't see what she knew? Maybe her raft was a mirage, looking like a full-rigged ship from a distance? And how could they know she had let someone else steer her ship for so long she'd forgotten how to sail? And the ocean was bottomless and dark."

Not to be taken too seriously, it's a story, alright?

Misery

I'm sitting here aching all over, waiting for my baby. My eyes are sore and I'm so cold you could put me straight into a cryogenic storage tube. Now and then, a sudden flush of heat tells me I'm still alive. I look through the window, that's all I can do. Any other work is simply too demanding, my head feels like cotton wool. Outside the wind carries away the last golden leaves from the giant maple tree. For a while I imagine myself sitting on a yellow leaf, whirling away, only to unhurriedly descend to the ground. There I would join the ones who shared my destiny, and we would slowly decompose and turn to soil.

"Is that the car now?" I think I see something coming this way. But no, not this time either. Impatiently I check the computer again. Splendid service that is, you can follow your shipment in detail from departure to arrival, but it hasn't been updated since it left DHL in Copenhagen at 07.20, so I'm figuring it surely must be in Bergen by now?

And I really hate having a cold...


The picture is from Pernicka Productions

Permanent Makeup

Studying is like treating your brain with L'Oréal. It deep cleanses, and peels away prejudice. It hydrates, nourishes, and makes you feel younger and fresher. A good education makes you vibrant and colorful. And best of all -

you're worth it!