Had We Only Known...

Imagine how a single piece of information could change 30 years in an instant. How a few facts you've known all the time suddenly turns into a lifelike movie in your head just because you've learned something new about what happened back then. All you knew before was that this boy had been quite a fragile boy with asthma; he lived with his mother who spoiled him beyond belief. You were also told that the mother was a little nuts as well, and died when the boy was 8 or something. He then moved to his father. These were the "facts", and you grew to hate this boy.

He was a nightmare, totally unaware of other's needs or feelings, always living in his own world. Very intelligent, but a failure at school, and he could never finish anything. Quiet and withdrawn he would just exist to close to you for comfort. Hard to understand, except for the times when music talked for him. He was passionate about music and sounds, and he was a true technical whizkid.

You've spent so many years trying to avoid any confrontation with this boy, the irritation and uneasiness he provoked in you was just too much to bear. Until the day his half-sister tells about those last years of the boy and his mother.

The mother had cancer, and went in and out of the hospital for a long time. Of course she wanted to be with her son, but she was all alone, and there was no one to help out. Or explain anything to the boy. All he could do when his mother laid bent over the bucket and threw up her intestines, was to shut out the world with the headphones on. There he stood upright next to the record player, letting the music into his mind to subdue the fear and despair. The sound of his mother's sickness was replaced by guitars and drums.

When he was hungry he was sent to the nearest kiosk with money in his pocket for a hot dog. How this little boy must have hurt! No wonder he almost turned autistic as his half-sister now tells. All this considered we now realized this boy has turned out remarkably well. He's got a fantastic daughter, not raised by him though, but I guess he hasn't spoiled her either. He's also finished some education, and got a good job. (In computers of course...) And he's got a girlfriend, who's been with him for quite some time now.

But had we only known...

I had in mind to continue here with something about learning & communication, but I don't have the time now. Have to rush out and feed my son, they're serving fish at the base today... Hopefully I'll find the time and inspiration this weekend to write a whole new post instead.