Tears In Heaven
Life is a miracle, each and every time it happens. Any form, any shape. Some lives are tragically enough shorter than they should be, and today I attended the funeral ceremony for little Charley. Nothing can take the pain away, but a day like like this can still turn out to be memory worth treasuring. Even for the parents, and closest family.
The church was almost filled, and before the ceremony started Charley's favorite songs were played on the speaker system. Many from Astrid Lindgren's books, like Pippi and Emil. A little white coffin is a really disturbing sight, here surrounded by enormous amounts of flower arrangement. I'll shorten this; no need for lengthy details, you'll get the point anyway. When my cousin sings "Tears In Heaven", real tears were flowing freely, and when the parents and aunts at the end carries their child to her final rest, I believe every one shared the same feeling - This is so wrong! No parent should have to do this!
In this spirit there has been set up a fund in the memory of this little girl. The money goes to cancer research, and the initial goal was to raise a 100 000 Sek before the fund's closing day in a years time. This morning the amount was larger than that, and it keeps rising. You can follow the fund here, and also make donations if you want to.
Of course nothing will bring her back, but knowing that so many of family, friends, neighbors and co-workers care means tremendously much. I mean, I can sort of forget about this tomorrow. The parents can't though, they have to wake up every morning having one child less. But this day, with that beautiful ceremony in the church, and all friends and family who joined later at their house for a little something to eat and drink showed them that they won't have to go through this on their own. People aren't afraid to grieve with them. We are allowed to laugh, even on a day like this. Maybe you wouldn't think so, but it's actually OK. When the mother can smile the day her daughter is buried, it doesn't mean she's not sad enough. Of course she is! But life is still there, and it has to continue. Charley's little brother is only a year old, and he deserves to grow up with a living memory of his sister, but not with broken parents. There were words spoken in church today that I think sums it all up, and which are essential to remember:
"Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Love and light...
4 comments:
My chest is aching, and I'm speechless!!!! I admire parents and people that can behave like that in the midst of complete and utter grief - I'm simply too basic as a mother and human being to go through an ordeal like my child's funeral and be able to smile between the grief and the tears. I know I would be totally shattered, no smiles - simply sadness for me, my family, and my friends.
You must have a very special cousin, and all I can say is that I sense her pain in spite of the smiles. I hope she continues to smile, for herself and for her little son!!!!
I'm thinking of you, Karin! You will soon be back amongst your family, and I know it will be rewarding for you in so many positive ways :)
I know for sure now I deeply I love my family, and the spirit we share. The values that are passed down here simply are (to me at least) what life should be all about. Unprejudiced and unconditional love. We owe so much to our grandparents, and probably the whole line before that, although I never met them myself.
I haven't been able to figure out what to say since your previous post. The grief is overwhelming, my mind just doesn't even want to go there; somehow thinking about it would be tempting fate.... For the family, impossible to comprehend, happy to have her even for such a short time, I don't know what one could possibly think to be able to get up each day and move forward. I trust family and friends will help them to keep smiling, keeping Charley close in their hearts and treasuring each new memory with their son.
I think you're right, they will pull through somehow. And the best we can do is to make sure they know they won't have to do it alone, while still giving them all the room they need to express their feelings. Whichever they may be.
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