Belated Summer Holiday

That's what happens when your life is turned upside down, you have to take your summer holiday in the midst of December. Any Aussies reading this won't necessarily find anything strange with that considering they're upside down all the time. From my point of view, anyway. But I guess that's what life is all about - realizing that not everyone has the same perspective as you do.

OK, back to my little vacation. In only 12 short days the semester, and with that my academic struggles, will be over for this year, and I'm planning to leave the area then. Just a few weeks ago I was so down I wanted to run away from everything, and simply told my ex-husband he had to see to that the youngest daughter were going to be taken care of for the first two weeks of December. Simply as that. (I'm getting an awful lot better at standing up for myself and my rights.) I sat there all wrapped up in self pity and wondered if anyone would miss me if I left without telling. So while I was trying to write on my essay, at the same time my mind was all around the world. I had this incredible luxurious feeling of unlimited options, where would I go? First I thought of going to Australia to meet friends I haven't seen for ages, but two weeks is on the shorter side. KL was an option too, but that is also a bit far away for only a fourtnight. And as it turned out, my friends there are actually moving back to Norway in time for Christmas. So where, then? Mauritius? Madagascar? Cap Verde? A remote island in the Carribean? Too far away, and besides, those places I wanna go with someone.

Then I turned my face North and thought of Svalbard, but it is probably the wrong time of the year. Now where? For some people the most obvious thing would be to catch a last minute trip to the sun, but no, not me, everything has to be really special, and I need something more than a semi clean beach and cheap margaritas. OK, should I stay in Norway then, go on a SPA vacation and get pampered all over? Sounded quite nice, but still a little bit too predictible. I also thought of renting a hut or small house by the sea, and let the rain and storms clear my mind. I even checked out a few on the Internet, but it costed almost as much as going to Cuba. Another of my ideeas, which in the back of my mind I knew never would be carried out, was to pack my backpack and WALK and just see how far I could get in ten days. Most likely to the nearest coffeehouse in the city.

In any of these cases my plan was not to tell anyone (except for my mum and dad, I know they would have worried), I wanted so much to be missed. Sick, right? Then I burst the balloon by telling about my plans to the only one I didn't wanna tell. But it felt good, and I might still go somewhere, but only 'cause I need it and not to make a drama out of it.

Tonight I thought about the best place ever to explore, somewhere I've been before, but there still seems to be endless of unmarked territories and hidden treasures to discover. It's not that easy to get there, but I have found a rewarding way of doing it.

I think I'm going to spend two weeks of writing. I think I'm gonna write my way into my mind, and out of my confusion.