Travelin' Things

I love to travel, especially by train. Very relaxing, lots of time to read and listen to music. The trip to Gothenburg takes about twelve hours, so I might even finish that book I bought the other day. Better buy a magazine as well.

As I walk around here preparing for my holiday, I suddenly remembered something stupid I did last time taking the train. I was going to catch the first train in the morning, and knew I had to get up real early in order to reach the train in time. I had no one to drive me so I had to take the bus. I hate the anxiety of not reaching something, so I planned everything meticulously, and as I don't trust our bus company that much, I probably added another 15 minutes just to be sure. There's one train coming in from Oslo in the morning, and then there's another one returning an hour later. But stupid me, I guess I was thinking too hard, and as result I switched the two trains in my mind and arrived to the station an hour and a half before I had to! It was a cold October morning, and everything was closed.

I'm not doing that mistake again, first of all I'm not taking the earliest train, and secondly I'm not that stupid twice... Better check the ticket again. Yes, 10.28. Another good thing about taking that train is that I don't have to spend 2 or 3 hours at Oslo S, which really is a boring place.

And now one of all these things that travels around the net...

The Bank Account Of Life

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account
Each morning with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every “evening” deletes whatever part of the
Balance you failed to use during the day.
What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course !!!

Each of us has such a “bank”
It’s name is TIME.
Every morning,
It credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost,
Whatever of this you have failed to
Invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance,
It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits,
The loss is yours

There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the “tomorrow.”
You must live in the present
on today’s deposits.
Invest it so as to get
from it the utmost in
health, happiness,
and success!
The clock is running.
Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR …
ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH …
ask a mother who gave birth
to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK …
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR …
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE …
ask the person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND …
ask the person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND …
ask the person who won a silver medal
in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have!
And treasure it more because you
Shared it with someone special,
Special enough to spend your time.
And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called
… The Present!!

Only A Day Away...

...and then I'm off to Sweden, and mom's place. There's as always when traveling a zillion things to remember, and I've made a checklist where I cross off things along the way. (Something tells me I probably could benefit from making to-do-lists all year round, but somehow it seems to be purely a holiday thing...) Who can water my plants? Who can pick up the mail for the club? And then all the things I need to bring with me; passport, camera, chargers for camera and mobile, codes for online bank, and other bits and pieces.

But one thing that's usually on my list I haven't added this time, and that's my laptop. This summer I'm really going to be on vacation, no playing around on the computer, whatever writing I'll do will be old-fashioned style. Paper and pen. I think that'll have some therapeutic value to it. I won't be completely off line though, my mother's got internet, so I will check mail and things like that, but not much more I hope. So what am I going to do then?

That was the question Irene asked me today as well. She's my coach at this course I'm attending, and I went to her today for some counseling. I have been thinking so much lately that I felt completely out of balance, and I needed her to "pull me together". Well, she isn't the one who does the actual work, but she offers me some possibilities on how to proceed. Apparently I'm a nice little girl, and that isn't necessarily only a good thing. In my case it means I have some problems in taking care of my own needs, always trying my best to please others. Always making myself accessible. That needs to be changed, and therefor I'm planning to learn to set limits. Say no once in a while. Irene's advice was to get plenty of rest, and lots of "grounding". (Spend time in nature, do things physically, paint, sew, et.c) Get more in contact with my feelings. As much as I talk about feelings, both mine and others, I tend to forget to really feel, it stays more in my head so to speak. So while it may seem as I'm ahead, I'm just as confused as anybody else. I guess 3 1/2 weeks in Sweden will do me very good, indeed.

And even that hour with Irene help me tremendously. When I first started talking to her I was so wound up even she couldn't follow my erratic thoughts! But when I left her room I actually smiled and felt so much calmer. So for now, have a nice summer. I might pop in here occasionally for an update from the hammock...

It's In The Stars

I signed up for a free personal reading at Astrology.com today. I'm curious, but not to that extent that I'll pay for the full length report at $9.95. But this is quite amazing though, just listen to these two short sections (the ones I got for free):

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
Modest, unobtrusive, and often rather quiet or shy, you are a person who is content to be in the background or to serve as an assistant, in the supporting role rather than in the lead. You are quite humble in your own assessment of yourself and you have a very strong perfectionistic attitude, with a tendency to be overly self-critical. No matter how well you do something, you always see the flaws in it and how it could be improved. Often you will simply refuse to attempt something because you feel you cannot meet your own high standards.

Most of the stuff in this section, I can see is true (Yeah, I know, you will probably say I'm everything but quiet or shy, but the truth is that I don't like to be in front, and I'm more than happy to support. As long as I can trust the people I work with, that is), and what's said in the next section I wish to believe is true:

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
You are a steadfast and patient soul, capable of tremendous devotion, dedication, endurance, and constancy. The ability to follow through and stick with things is one of your greatest assets. Once your course is set, you pursue it tenaciously until it is completed, stubbornly resisting any attempts to sway you from your purpose.

...but as "overly self-critical" I am, I will naturally criticize myself for not being patient enough. Now there's a catch, isn't it? But devoted? Well yes, that one is true.

Silly Cow

Yes, I guess I am too bloody nice, but as my brother once said: "You can't keep a cow in the kitchen, just 'cause she's nice!" And cows are nice animals, aren't they? Placidly grassing in the field, not asking for much. They do get cranky though, if not milked regularly, but apart from that they're not that demanding.

So instead of being the cow, maybe I should try to be the cow-girl instead? Swinging the lasso? He, he. Not my style I think, I simply don't know how to do that. No, I'm afraid I'll just keep on grassing, patiently waiting for someone to pay attention to my needs. While looking through the window, longing to be that cow-girl swinging her pans in the kitchen. Stupid Cow... Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sankthans - Midsummer In Norway

Two pics from tonight's celebration of Sankthans, and one from a magical sky a week ago:

Ways Of Water

Water is the source of life. But the quality of water can vary, and there are several measurements that say something about a water body's health. Probably the most known is how pH measure how acidic or basic water is, but there are others too. The temperature can be very important, changes can affect the ability of water to hold oxygen as well as the ability of organisms to resist certain pollutants.

Specific conductance is a measure of the ability of water to conduct an electrical current, and will give a good idea of the amount of dissolved material in the water. Next, turbidity is the amount of particulate matter that is suspended in water, which makes the water cloudy. It is measured by how light shines through the water.

Although water molecules contain an oxygen atom, this oxygen is not what is needed for those who live in water. A small amount of oxygen is actually dissolved in water, and is breathed by fish and other living organisms.

Rapidly moving water, such as in a mountain stream or large river, tends to contain a lot of dissolved oxygen, while stagnant water contains little. Life can have a hard time in stagnant water, that has a lot of rotting material in it. At last, one can determine the "hardness" of a water by measuring the amount of dissolved calcium and magnesium in it.

So, healthy water is neither to acid nor basic, it's free from pollution and waste, not too soft, not too hard, and most importantly - it runs freely. In stagnant water hardly anything thrive, and some of it that does are dangers like mosquitoes, parasites and harmful bacteria. There's a beautiful exception though, and that's the Lotus flower, which also has it's own symbolic value. When I came this far in my water "research" I was a little disappointed, it didn't fit into my metaphor and how water needs to be flowing. But after thinking hard I came up with the solution:

The stagnant waters that lotuses prefer aren't made over the night, these are natural evolutions that has taken a long time to develop. They're not man-made trapped waters in some tank, nor are they ground or surface water stagnation due to poor drainage or excessive watering.

A habitat like that must somehow found just the right balance to keep on living, and provide a home for a wonder like the sacred waterlily. And one condition is that there has to be enough ambient sun.

This post could go on for ever and ever, as the river does.

Waves and ice.

Diving and drowning.

Life.

Thanks to USGS for some of the facts...

Spiraling Thoughts

I didn't think I was going to write anything this evening, it's hard to write when you're crying so much you can't see. (Yes, I did, just couldn't help it. And I don't care what other people might think either; if I feel like crying - I'll do that. Actually had my neighbor sitting next to me on the bus, and he must have wondered what all the tears were about. He was vise not to ask though.)

Anyways, writing might help. But I'm starting to think I'll have to write something longer, fuller, more substantial than posts in this blog. Not that it's anything wrong with blogging, but I have so many thoughts fighting for space in my little brain, that there's hardly room for new ones. Metaphorically speaking of course, 'cause your thoughts never really leave you. They only need to be worked on, organized and being put into the right file. And if labeled correctly, you can access them easily at any time.

Usually I have some sort of plan or idea when writing, but tonight not so. There's "only" this rush of emotions and I'm struggling to keep it together. And I'm also struggling with my "split personality"; on one hand I'm this constantly analyzing person who argues and wants proof for every incident, and on the other hand I often more than willingly go for something just 'cause it feels right. (Sorry, this is really messy, but then again, so am I, so what can you expect?) Plan or idea? Right.

I said earlier tonight that I felt I was repeating everything I think and write. Same things over and over again. But isn't that how everything always has been? Homer, Shakespeare and Murasaki Shikibu, they are all guilty of writing about what people do. Love and fight. You can find it in The Book of Thousand and One Nights as well as in the Edda. Poems and music has been written on the same themes for centuries. But unless you copy something, there will always be a new element, a new insight or another perspective. That's what it's all about. Someone expressing a feeling or experience in a way they know. Pure therapy, and lucky for the rest of the mankind not all people who are dealing with any kind of emotional trauma, or plain happiness for that matter, work through it by jogging 20 miles through the woods.

I also said I thought I was getting immune to pain, having had too much of it in recent years. That wasn't true, I'm afraid. Or actually, I'm glad, 'cause you can't exclude the feelings you don't want in favor of the desirable ones. And I refuse to let myself go hard and cold, I rather deal with the pain. Blah-blah-blah. It's just words, ain't it? And I don't have a clue...

Censored!!!

Luckily I have an in-built censor, which seem to rescue me from the most embarrassing moments. I have just been writing this long post, while intoxicated, and I pressed the "publish" button! But I wasn't that drunk, obviously, so I "took it back". I still have it as a draft though, maybe I'll finish it some other time. Good night, to ya' all, from silly me...

The examination results were announced today...

...and I'm ecstatically happy, and honestly very much surprised:

Daggers & Diamonds

Got a call from my mother the other day, and she told me that I shouldn't plan anything for the 30th this month (that's the day after I'll arrive in Sweden), 'cause she's planning a evening out for the family. That evening it'll mean her and her fiancé, me, my eldest daughter and my two brothers, and I really look forward to it. Just to be with them for any occasion is nice, but I expect this evening to be some extra ordinary. My mother has booked tickets for Daggers & Diamonds, "a Comedy Art Theater product where the audience is in the centre of events", at Nolhaga Castle. We will be served murder and food and have a what I'll reckon a fantastic night.



This is still a few weeks ahead, and before I leave for Sweden I plan to have another wonderful evening. No murders, just wine. Maybe something good to eat. And since I won the lottery I bought a bottle of something a little more exclusive than usual. A Villalta Amarone, which I hope will be to our satisfactory, even though it's from the lower price range (and slightly young). Amarone is made from grapes that are dried after picking, which produces a rich full-bodied wine. Yummy, I'd say.

Regular Hangout

I really look forward to tomorrow's lunch, as my friend Toril is having her birthday and we're going to celebrate her in style. I don't think we know any other way... But by style I don't necessarily mean too extravagant or overly expensive, but a lunch with her always leaves me feeling elevated and "spirited". (And the mandatory wine sure sets a certain standard.)

So where are we going? To our regular hangout, of course! Not that I've been there that many times, can still count them, but enough times for it to feel like it's ours. Although not exclusively ours, I would love to go there with any of my friends. Or with my special friend. Haven't tried the candlelit evening time version yet.

Or why not try out the Champagne tasting they're having in August? 4 different Champagnes, together with confectionaries, champagne truffles, fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate and a champagne mousse dessert...

Luxury Problem

I've got a new computer, and with it a 22 inch wide screen, which compared to my 15 inch laptop is enormous. It's actually so bright I have to move back a little! Or wear shades...

A Very Old Post Update

Am I maybe too bold referring to my own posts? I'll take my chances; you'll see, I had an idea on how to update and expand the post from yesterday - something about diagnosing of my present state based on which symptoms I've got. I thought I remembered I'd wrote something about the subject earlier, and yes, I did! So that's what I meant, you actually have to skim through an old post as well, if this post is going to make any sense.

All of a sudden I've got this strong urge to clap my hands...

Quality Time Ponderings

We humans are strange creatures really. We so desperately need to define everything that we constantly compromise ourselves when trying to label our surroundings. Not that we are the only ones trying to make the world understandable, I just think that we are experts in messing it up in our efforts. I mean, to survive, thrive and procreate every living being need to identify dangers, enemies, safe food sources, possible mates and so on. Any stupid cow know which grass to chew, and you don't see cats canoodling dogs that often either.

But the human world is so complex, and it's expanding and developing continuously, making it even harder to make sense of it all. The problems start when we can't find the right pegs to pin everything on. And we also are more stupid than the average monkey, 'cause they seem to learn from their mistakes. If they eat something that'll make them sick, they're likely to stay off that food. But we both drink and eat until we throw up, only to do it again the next weekend. Not very clever, I'd say...

Is there a point to this story, you might ask? As always I'm not really sure until the end, but let's see.

One thing about defining and labeling things, is that by doing so they automatically get certain characteristics and expectations attached to them. A car for instance, is a motor vehicle with four wheels, that can get you from A to B. A car is actually very good metaphor for many things, and I've had several lecturers who's used it to explain both programming and mathematical equations. One of the reasons it's working so well is that, I'd say, most people know what a car is, without any further explanations. If it's a top model fancy car with a 6 cylinder engine purring like a cat, or something more resembling a wreck like my Nissan Micra, they still share the same concept. It's a transport device.

But is that all? A car can be a show object, never to be used for driving. It can be an old veteran or a toy model without engine. I could go on here for a while, but I think you're starting to see what I'm getting at? And besides, a car has no feelings, if not taking Christine and Herbie into account.

Human relations on the other hand are far more complicated to define, even though we're trying to pinpoint them with the same accuracy as when classifying vegetables. To identify something you need to recognize it by some sort of reference, either be it personal experience or facts from a book. Feelings are tricky that way, 'cause they usually don't come one at the time. They appear in clusters, hard to separate, and that same feeling can also occur in a number of different situations, each time mingled up with other various feelings. An orange is still an orange in a fruit salad, but when blended with a lot of other fruits not so easy to detect.

(If this had been an academic text, every single statement would have been needed to be followed by clear arguments and extensive explanations, but "in real life" I prefer a style where most points can be read between the lines. Fun and interesting, and it also saves me from too much typing. So I trust that you'll understand my way of thinking without me spelling it out.)

Anyway, I talked about feelings and relations. Wouldn't it be great to be able to take a simple blood test or having an X-ray to see what you are "suffering" from? If you're anemic or your leg is broken, it's no problem for a doctor to diagnose those conditions, but testing for something like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a total different matter. Only by identifying the symptoms and ruling out other diseases you can get a fairly reliable diagnose. This might be the way to define feelings and human relations as well? Check the symptoms!

Or to put it simply - if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

Early Bird

It's 5 am, and I have just spent the night outside, chatting with a very friendly neighbor. And we did drink a few glasses of wine as well...

I have now lived here for nearly two years, but since I don't have small children who need to be supervised, and since I'm not a smoker I really don't spend that much time outside in the yard, and therefor I hardly know any of my neighbors. Maybe it's sad, I don't know, but I have been through this "getting acquainted phase" so many times I hardly can't be bothered anymore. It takes an enormous amount of energy to get to know someone.

This particular woman I have actually been talking to before, so she wasn't a complete stranger, but I'm sure this nightly huddle was a little bit special. It never seize to amaze me how much seemingly unrelated events happens all the time, and strange coincidences are everywhere. But I won't bore you with details, let's just say that we our conversation covered a lot of areas I wouldn't have expected. And there's definitely way more between heaven and earth than we can see.

But of course, we also touched upon more earthly issues like men, relationships and human behavior in general. Needless to say, that part of the discussion lasted for a while...

It's interesting to see how hard it is to change the way we behave, although it might seem so. I have really tried to act differently when meeting new people, and I guess there's been some positive progress, but I also see that in some respects I keep doing the same "mistakes" over and over again. Quotation marks here 'cause in one case an action can be a mistake as in another you might get the result you want, only because the other part is reacting differently.

Yeah, yeah - it's hard to be a nissemann...

"Working Girl"

On Monday I took my old car out for a drive, I had to pay a professor in Rosendal a visit. Even though my practice period at the Institute of Marine Research is over, I am still asked to write a newsletter for them. Really exciting, especially since this is concerning groundbreaking research. (And the fact that I'm getting paid for the job, something I haven't experienced since sometime back in the last millennium...)

Anyhow, the summer has really hit this frozen part of the world, and the sun is sending us it's insidious rays all day long, so the ride in to "Rose Valley" was nothing but delightful. Even the ferry trip, which I usually find quite boring, was nice since I could enjoy the sun from the top deck.

I met with the professor for lunch, and it soon became evident that I am not professional! I realize that this is something I have to work on if I ever want to hold a job. As I didn't know the "procedures" for a meeting like this I chatted away as usual. Everyone who knows me get the picture, right? And when I'm nervous, I get seriously incoherent, talking nonsense, and I felt like an idiot most of the time. Charm really didn't work there.

But maybe it was all in my head? 'Cause I actually said something that caught his attention, and he even said "that was actually very well put, I think I'm going to use that". He, he, I've made a contribution to the "world peace"...

Here are a few glimpses from that day: