Breakthrough

I told you about one the other day, and that was quite an important one as well. Ask the difficult questions, even if I might get answers I don't like. (For all you men who never had this "problem" it might sound silly, but for me it was a victory) And then I had my mom on the phone, and told her what I've done. She replied "good for you", and continued: "Next you might even ask for what you want!" This was said without a trace of sarcasm, 'cause it's actually very true. Have I ever made any demands?

"This is where I stand, and this is how I want things - take it or leave it."

Ha, that'll be the day...

My Type

Spurred on by a little discussion I had with a reader here, regarding what "type" of men we preferred, I decided to make a whole post out of it. I suggested I'd make a list (of actors and other famous people) which reflects most "my type", and why not? I've already told you what I think about Leonardo DiCaprio, he's not my type ever, but Russel Crowe is a good example of what character and charisma have to say for the matter. In the mentioned Body of Lies he wasn't particularly tasty but in Gladiator and Master and Commander (now, I wonder why...) he really was something else. Still, Crowe isn't my type really.

Of course there's the one that all women put on their list, so I won't discuss him any further here. But even in the more recent Something's Gotta Give he's got the spark. Enough about him.

I must also stress that this list has no preferred order, the names appear as I go along. On the other hand it might be an indication who I recall first, so obviously will John Malcovich be kind of at the top anyhow. And who could resist him in Dangerous Liaisons... I haven't seen everything he's done, far from it, but one I perhaps should see (for various reasons), is The Libertine. In this film the lead character is played by Johnny Depp, and he's a tricky one as he's not my kind of guy really. But he's got something, that's for sure. He's got presence. And a very nice voice too, and for me that's important. Not only the voice, but the actual words as well.

My list will obviously reflect that I'm "old", 'cause in my search online with criteria like "hottest men on earth" there were ratings with men young enough to be my son! All more or less unknown to me, as I haven't paid that much attention to them before. I might now though... dirty old bag...

But there's one young man I've already noticed, and so have all the rest of the world. (Or maybe not that young, he's turned 30 actually.) Gael García Bernal played Ernesto "Che" Guevara in The Motor Cycle Diaries, and he too falls in under the category "not my type really but still got something". He's got (or his character in the movie) heart and brain, to vital assets. And lips... The most shocking thing I realized just now as I had a look at him on IMDb, was that he's almost a spitting image of an old boyfriend of mine, back from my teenage years...

I'll try to speed it up a little, it's not that interesting. Especially for any male readers, I guess. So in one sweeping row I'll give you George Clooney, Mike Rowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Alain Delon (as young of course), Viggo Mortensen, Michael T. Weiss, Bryan Brown (as in The Thorn Birds), Robert Redford used to be OK, Samuel L Jackson and Christopher Walken are getting older, but have done some memorable characters, Gary Oldman ("dangerous"), and so is Sean Bean, Hugh Jackman and last but not least Robert Patrick.

There could also be a list of men I know a lot of women would put on their "Yes-list" that I wouldn't, and there's one that immediately springs to my mind. Me ex-husband was quite a jealous type, but oh boy did he miss! He thought Steven Segal was my type, and I have no clue why he thought so. (Maybe he wanted to be like him...) No, don't fancy him.

All this is purely fiction, and again as Deb pointed out: "It's the character they play that I like - not necessarily them." In reality my type is a confident guy, with charisma and presence. His mind is working, and he's honest and sincere. And a good kisser... In fact, he sounds like a real star, right?

Growing Up

Sen. John McCain has said about Leonardo DiCaprio that he's "an androgynous wimp", and I know many people who'd agree. Actually I hear more men saying that than women, and perhaps men feel threatened by the idea that a woman could fancy someone as "smooth" as DiCaprio? What ever the reason I can to some extent see their point, but after the first time a saw him in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I have at least always regarded him as a brilliant actor, if not as "my kind of man". Personally I prefer stronger men, but that's a whole another discussion...

Anyway, tonight I went to the cinemas with my daughter, and the idea was to see the new Jim Carrey Movie Yes Man, but the tickets were all sold out. So decision felt upon Body of Lies instead, much due to the fact it's directed by Ridley Scott, and that Russel Crowe plays in it as well. DiCaprio wasn't what I really longed for... But here's the thing; both Scott and Crowe lived up to my expectations (especially Russel Crowe did a remarkable job portraying someone so not likable), but Leonardo DiCaprio is finally becoming a man. Still not "my type", but he was believable in his roll as a CIA field agent in the Middle East (what do I know...), and a little facial hair definitely suits him. All in all I enjoyed the movie, although it made me feel a little uneasy. Not so much because of the violence, which was quite explicit from time to time, but from what I sensed was a kind of realness. Trust no one. Deceive everyone.

But back to my reality here in Norway, where I don't need terrorists to mess up my day; that I can do perfectly well on my own. Like I have to hand in my first ideas for the first paper by 8 p.m. Monday evening, and I haven't started yet really. Sounds all too familiar, right? But I've had so much else on my mind, you know. Cooking and serving dinner for my dear friend on Friday, and then "recover" on Saturday. And we all know how to do that right? I went downtown to see a friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for ages. She's currently writing on her doctoral thesis, and I feel a little special 'cause I know she's very selective with how she uses her spare time. We chatted the whole evening about everything, from academic issues to men and house rent. Especially the topic of men was dealt with extensively. I caught the last bus home at 1...

I said Leonardo DiCaprio had grown up, but he's not the only one. So have I, actually. At least a little. For instance, one thing is that I've been far too evasive when it comes to ask the important questions. If I've felt mistreated or neglected in any way, I've always avoided to confront that. In fear of getting an answer I didn't want to hear, I never asked the question. For the first time (I think) I have now opened up my mouth, and asked straight out for plain words, knowing I might get a rejection. And it felt good, no sitting duck anymore.

Menu Planning

Entrée:
Grilled Scallops with Ginger Soy Butter on an Arugula bed

Main course:
Lamb Steak with Garlic, Rosemary & Thyme, served with Mixed Roasted Roots and a Lemon Chévre Sauce

I haven't decided yet what to serve for dessert though. But I think I'll go for something not too complicated; Chocolate Ice Cream maybe? Homemade of course...

Machinery

I'm a woman of many talents (not my words, but why contradict?), and one is sewing. But in order to sew you need a sewing machine, and I got 2, 'cause I've also got an overlock serger. This is the machine which takes your finished garment from looking home-made to professional, even from the inside. I've had both my machines for quite some time now, and they work just fine. Or used to anyway; the overlock suddenly behaved very strangely, but it didn't take me long to see where the problem was. How to solve it on the other hand was a total different matter. And here's where another talent comes in handy.

Resolutely I opened up the whole machine, only to discover that the "problem area" could have been reached by simply loosen a small cover on the side, and what's worse is that by performing this unnecessary procedure I also f&¤%d it up even more. Now the thread tension was all out of wack... Not very talented so far. But I'm no surrender, so I jumped on the task with even greater determination than before. Put it all together to the best of my ability. Unfortunately the result still wasn't satisfactory, and at this point I realized that one can only reach a certain point by talent - the rest is something else. Learning, training and hard work should never be underestimated.

This attempt at fixing my sewing machine I did a while ago, and since then I've been playing with the idea of actually buying a new one. Foolish, since they cost a fortune, and as a student I don't have that much time to use it anyway. But you know how good you feel when you buy a new toy? A new car? Or a new power tool maybe? We have all different hobbies and likings, but the feeling is the same. You have just ripped a huge hole in your wallet, but the delirious feeling of well-being and contentment is the same. Bliss, happiness, and yes - it can be bought by money... ;) Temporarily.

So when I was in Sweden last weekend I ventured into the local sewing machine dealer. Only looky, looky. And that intent wasn't hard to follow, 'cause this shop had more emphasis on repairs than marketing brand new machines. Which turned out to be a good thing, since the old guy was more than willing to share his technical knowledge. Although he could have talked me into scrap my old wreck, and buy a fancy new one, he took out a piece of paper and with drawings explained exactly I should do it when I got home. Along with a few general inside tips on how to clean the tension devices and so on.

Yesterday I tried it out, and what d'ya know? It seems to work! And the bliss and contentment didn't cost me a dime.

Time For Laughs

In Sweden now, only for a short visit. I wasn't planning on doing any blogging until I got back, but I got a mail here which I just have to share with you. Well, not the actual mail, but the picture that came along with it.

This is supposedly taken outside Royal Hospital in Belfast where these guys are almost finished after a hard days work. They have just put up bollards to prevent the nurses (!?) from parking on the sidewalk. I'm not saying anything more, see for yourself...



And here's the caption from a gag cartoon I read in the local paper today:

Two guys sitting together, and one says "He said you were a big idiot, but don't think I didn't defend you. I told him you're below average height."

Knobs & Hangers

New semester, new challenges. But contrary to the smaller kitchen issues (knobs and such) I told you about in last post, the challenges at the university are of another caliber. Although, on the other hand I could use the knobs and hangers as a metaphor, especially in the class I'm following now. Yesterday we had just a simple introduction, by both lecturers. Silje told a little of her part of the course, which is the one about games. First though, before we dig into games and violence in March, we're supposed to acquire a more general knowledge of the field, and this part of the course we'll be lead by Daniel Apollon. Much can be said about him, but I kinda like his approach to science, knowledge and research. Extremely vivid thinking, and open to alternatives. He certainly has plenty of knobs and hangers in his mind, and apparently they all seem to be connected somehow.

The challenge now is, as Apollon also pointed out, to not only write about a topic of interest, but also take some sort of stand. At master level they expect us to be far more autonomous, expressing our thoughts more clearly. My "problem" is that I so easily can see things from different angles, and sometimes I even tend to agree with almost anyone as long as they can argue for it. Or at least make me believe they can. My work now is to see beyond that, trying to oppose whatever is being said, and test out hypothesizes. That's probably one of the reasons the course is planned the way it is, and by planning Apollon means no plan at all. Or hardly. But don't misunderstand - this is a good thing. He's starting us off by giving words, expressions and questions, and we're encouraged to take part in discussions. Like today, we spent an hour playing with a definition of technology. An hour isn't much; I guess even a lifetime wouldn't be enough. And this little word is then only one third of the whole expression we're dealing with. So complex, so challenging. ICT - Information and Communication Technology... Can you define it?

PS. Just a funny observation: I'm not sure if everyone that's supposed to was there today, but we counted 9 students, consisting of two Swedes, two Frenchmen (and there was another Frenchman as well, namely the lecturer himself), two Italians, one German, one Japanese and one Hong Kong-Chinese! But actually, I think this only will make it more interesting, with such different backgrounds as well.

Handyman

New apartment, new challenges. Might seem as quite trivial, but still, those small things are very important. Like having knobs and hooks for hanging stuff in the kitchen - dishcloth, dish brush and other various items. One would think that the people who planned the kitchen would have thought of practicalities like that, but it's clear they didn't ask for my advice anyway. I asked them if I could put up something myself, and that was OK. Goodie, I thought, and now I only need some power tools...

But what can be better than having the whole job done for you? (I'm starting to get lazy...) The caretaker came over this morning, and with delight I watched this handyman control his tools while I sipped my coffee. And they say men are simple? They are constantly accused of checking us out, but I can assure you that we're not any better, if we allow ourselves. Or maybe that is a good thing? It certainly made my day, watching a confident man flex his muscles a little...

Playtime

Yesterday a few things got settled. I was accepted for the masters degree program, which in turn decided my living situation for the time being, and I'll stay put here. Also had a consultation with my therapist/course instructor for the Angelos Method, and that too was very rewarding. She'd confirm what I already "knew" - I'm almost in place and ready. For what you might ask? (I know I ask myself that question sometimes.) But it's more like ready for life, for yourself. And it might also be ready for taking on the task of fulfilling 40 client sessions in order to get the final approval. 40 clients, where do I find them? Shouldn't worry, 'cause when I truly commit to go ahead they'll come to me - that's just how things work.

And as a matter of fact I actually might have just the perfect one to start off with. If he gets approved, that is. ;) He might be just a tad too close, and we're not supposed to work with people who are too near to us. This one though is a bit hard to define, he's got a position all on his own, so it might be OK anyway. I'll ask my tutor.

But if he's not approved of as a client of mine, we'd still go on doing the things we do now I guess. Meet occasionally, as yesterday evening, for coffee, wine and a chat. It's probably correct to call it a regular hangout, when you've met at the same place for more than three times, but I like it there actually. Not too big and noisy; a place for grown ups. (Even if I feel like a teenager at times, but hopefully I'm not acting like one. Or maybe I do, just a little...)

Last night we even had a few cognacs, so my adolescent behavior was perhaps a little too pronounced. But I'm sure no one really notices things like that, and if they do I don't care that much anyhow. As long as I'm not making a total fool of myself. And that i didn't.

We also had something to eat, but only a few appetizers. And you know, there's a reason they're called appetizers, 'cause that's what they do! Tease your taste buds, evoke a craving. So when I got home I was starving, but unfortunately I didn't have that much in the fridge. Well, I survive. And a little hungering has never hurt anyway.

I hope it's no too long before I see my darling friend again, 'cause I need to have a few holes drilled into the concrete walls here and I don't have the tools. Audacious perhaps to mention this here, since he's probably reading too... But he knows me. Only too well.

But let's go back to my studies. Now I have to step it up a notch, and I look forward to dig into the material. The course I'll be taking is called "Critical Approaches to Technology and Society", and from what I can tell reading the curriculum we'll be discussing games. That will suit me just fine, I like games myself. But there will also be a huge challenge, as I'll have to do something I didn't think I would. My kids have been suggesting for a long time now that I'll start playing World of Warcraft. They're both experienced players, and I think they're level 80 both of them, or just under. The reason for me not playing is that I also know me too well, had I started I know I would be so involved, wanting to master it. And I have had no time for that, I thought. Until now, 'cause it's mandatory. As is Tomb Raider. But that chick I know; played them all, even if it's years ago. So - playtime it is!

References

Kinda nerve wrecking it is, just go waiting for that answer whether I'll get approved for the master program or not. But even if I do, I'm not totally convinced I should go on or not. If not, I'll need to start looking for a job...

So today I had a look and I must admit there's not much to choose from. If it really isn't, or if I'm just lacking confidence, that's another question. But anyhow - a CV is essential, and I found the one we wrote a couple of years ago on a course at the University. It needed to be freshened up a little, and one thing I really don't know how to solve is the "reference" part. The part where you put down names and numbers of people who'll gladly tell prospective employers how excellent you are. Since I haven't been employed for many (many) years I don't have any names to put down really. I know this is the same for anyone fresh from her studies, but as I'm entering the market quite late I think it would be better to have at least one who can vouch for me. In fact I do have people who can tell me how excellent I am, but I'm not sure if I can use them for reference though. ;) (If you think otherwise, please let me know.)

Meanwhile, I'm being very creative. I've managed to make room for my sewing machine, so I can pick up one of my favorite hobbies. Now I have my high tech machine standing on the stand of my old family heirloom - the Singer treadle sewing machine. Nice contrast, and it actually works fine. My new curtains for the kitchen are nearly finished, and I'm thinking it'd be a shame to move now. Ah well, they'll probably fit somewhere else too.

Just Another Hour...

...and 2008 is over. This time of the year it's customary to contemplate about life and sum up the year that just passed. I won't do any summing up, at least not in public, which leaves me the reflection part of previous mentioned New Year activities. But pondering over life's mysteries is what I usually do anyway, right? So the challenge really is to make it interesting, coming up with a fresh view of some sorts, and this idea here came to me a couple of weeks ago as I spoke to one of my girl friends. She felt a little out of place, as if she'd never get to where she should be in life. Too tittle accomplished, too many wishes, too many loose ends. Now, these were her feelings, only true to her at the time, so to put it in perspective I gave her my thoughts on Jigsaw Puzzles.

I'd like to think of these puzzle games as what you're supposed to be doing with your life, the purpose of it, and life itself is the room you need to lay out the pieces.

Jigsaw puzzles come many different shapes, styles and sizes. There are children's puzzles with very few and very large pieces, and they are quickly put together. (Maybe not if you are child but for this analogy we're all just people, regardless of age...) Children's puzzles are usually brightly colored with easily recognizable patterns. No real challenge there.

There are a lot of different ways to raise up the difficulty level, and the most obvious is perhaps to increase the number of pieces. The challenge with a larger puzzle is actual the space. The more pieces the more free room you need to place the pieces you're working with. Pieces that are not attached to each other take up a considerable amount of space actually.

OK, large puzzles are tricky, and the one from Ravensburger with 18000 pieces surely isn't for anyone. Then you really have to be an enthusiast. But about this one it has to be said that it's consisting of 4 parts of a map, and each comes in it's own bag. Kinda cheating, right?

The strategies of building a puzzle can also vary, but I guess the most common approach is to separate out the edges and make a frame. Well, I do it like that anyway. At least when it comes to actual jigsaw puzzles. Regarding my own life I have a feeling that's not how I build it... But there may be a solution to that too. You see, in addition to larger jigsaws there are ones that are really hard in spite of being more standard sized.

For one, there are puzzles that comes without a picture on the box. So you're building a puzzle without having a clue of the outcome! Maybe just a hint that the result will be an image of a famous painting or something. And can you imagine laying a puzzle where there are no edge pieces? They also exist. Along with the kind where they put an extra 5 pieces in just to confuse you...

Another reason for not being fooled about sized is that the pattern itself can be deceiving. I mean, a simple (and rather predictable) image is the one from the Alps. Clear blue sky with a bright sun and a few white clouds. Sharply defined mountains, green valleys, a flowing river and of course the castle. A puzzle like this is no game, 'cause it's so easy to sort out the colors and different areas. But an abstract pattern with similar colors all over is something else. With that kind of puzzle you can't build up those individual parts which you can put together later; no, with that kind the building process may appear more random. With the "alp-puzzle" you know more or less where the pieces should go, at least the general direction of them, but with a more disorganized picture there's no obvious way of telling if that misty pink is a piece of the sky or merely a reflection in the water.

It's late now, or rather early, and the New Year is only a few hours young. I'm pretty confident I haven't said all there's to say about jigsaws, but then again, if I had the subject would be closed, right? Like now there's room for additional input. Feel free. One point I'd like to make though is that the more complex your jigsaw puzzle is, the longer it will take to build, but it's also so much more rewarding.

I hope no one thinks this is sad, me writing and posting to the blog an a New Year's Eve, instead of being out celebrating. Rest assured, this is nothing but sad, in fact I had a wonderful evening. And not totally on my own either - my kids have stopped by own their way to their friends and such, and I have also received calls and messages from all the people I care about. The certainty I feel now that I also have people who care about me, well, that's the best start of a New Year I can imagine.