Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

About a week ago I wrote a post about the water shortage here in Bergen. The same day I talked to my mother on the phone, and we discussed how water restrictions might affect us, and how far we would be willing to stretch to fulfill our obligations as obedient citizens. Last she said: "But I won't turn off the shower while using the soap, I don't like to freeze and I enjoy the hot water pouring down my back far too much. I'd rather have a quicker one, if that's what it takes." I couldn't agree more, I could almost feel how intolerable it was to stand there naked without the warming water.

The following morning I had my regular shower and started as usual with a little amount of shampoo, rinsed the hair and then a second shampoo application. Rinsed again, and after that the conditioner. Grabbed the shower cream, AND TURNED OFF THE WATER! It hit me as a cold shower, and I realized I had lied. 'Cause the instant I turned off the shower I knew that this is how I do it; EVERY SINGLE TIME! I just couldn't let it pass, I needed to know what had happened, and if it was significant. Obviuosly I thought so, otherwise I don't think I would be bothered in giving you detailed information about my personal hygiene.

First of all, was it a lie? Is not telling the truth a lie, even if you're not conscious about it? I could have sworn to a jury, that I never turn off the water while showering, and that's probably based on what (I think) I know about myself. It made sense, I hate to freeze. I had sound arguments for my point of view, so to speak.

On the other hand, I have taken so many showers that I don't think or plan how to do it anymore. It's become an integrated habit, each step evolved out of some practical need.

Let's now apply this to something more serious. There are so many people who absolutely believe themselves when denying all sorts of bad behaviour; like lying, cheating, abusing (both verbally and physically) and acting stupidly in general. The list could go on forever, but that's not the point here either. What is remarkable though, is that this type of denial is more than anything else, a retelling of the norms and values you've been exposed to all your life. But if you haven't integrated them, they won't actually be true. You have sound arguments for your case, because this is how you're taught to behave, even if you might be lying through your teeth on a regular basis. It makes sense to be nice, not that many admit to get any pleasure out of hurting people, and you honestly believe you're a good person. All this while ranting and raving, smacking your spouse, and treating the children as property.

So, have you had a cold shower lately?